If you could see my expression right now, you would notice that my left eye is twitching uncontrollably. You might also spot a new gray hair sprouting from my right eyebrow. I’m convinced this is a direct result of dealing with a child who has embraced the know-it-all persona, and it’s making me feel a little crazy.
As children grow, they naturally go through various developmental stages that ideally prepare them for adulthood. The first year is all about walking, the second year focuses on talking, and the third year brings potty training. However, in our household, the seventh year has ushered in the delightful chaos of the know-it-all stage. Suddenly, my kid believes it’s perfectly acceptable to correct anyone and everyone, while he remains infallibly right—everyone else is wrong.
How did we end up here? Is it my fault? My partner and I have always celebrated our children’s achievements, but we never intended to raise little divas. We instill the importance of good manners and kindness, and when our kids stray from that path, they face appropriate consequences. So why has this new phase left me feeling like I’m living with an arrogant brat?
The know-it-all phase is, indeed, just that: a phase. As kids begin school, their minds are bombarded with new information, and they are eager to share their newfound knowledge. For instance, when my 7-year-old excitedly tells me that a peregrine falcon can dive at speeds of up to 200 miles per hour (in case you were curious), it’s no surprise he wants to showcase his facts to everyone around him. In his mind, sharing impressive tidbits equals attention, and he thrives on that.
But when his casual “Did you know?” transforms into “You’re wrong; it’s this,” we hit a snag. Sometimes, this behavior stems from insecurity. According to an interview in Parents magazine, child development expert, Mia Johnson, explains that “Seven- and 8-year-olds are beginning to understand their surroundings and take pride in their growing knowledge. It’s perfectly normal for them to want to demonstrate this and seek positive reinforcement.” However, even when children feel appreciated, they often still want to be seen as the best, and that’s when the know-it-all attitude arises.
Lately, this phase has manifested in my 7-year-old constantly correcting his younger sibling about everything. I can’t count the number of times I’ve intervened in arguments that start with “Yes, it is!” and escalate to “No, it isn’t!” Initially, we thought this was typical sibling rivalry, but soon it became clear that our eldest was consistently the instigator, insisting his brother was just plain wrong. This only leads to frustration for everyone involved.
To tackle this behavior, we’ve tried a variety of tactics: reasoning with him about being smart without having to correct others, lecturing on social etiquette, implementing time-outs, and even threatening to take away his tablet (the ultimate punishment) if he didn’t stop. Yet, nothing seemed to change. He continued to lecture and made his brother feel belittled.
Ultimately, we realized two key points. First, aspiring to be an expert is a normal developmental phase at this age. Second, no matter how much we try to mediate, there will always be a bit of sibling friction. Our kids will work it out, and in the meantime, we’ll support them in doing so respectfully—even if one of them always seems to “know” better.
We know there will come a time when Mr. Know-It-All encounters someone who challenges his authority, and that’s a lesson we can’t teach. Until then, we’ll navigate these turbulent waters together.
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In summary, navigating the know-it-all phase can be challenging, but understanding that it’s just a stage of development can ease the frustration. Patience and guidance will help our children learn to express their knowledge without diminishing others, so we can all coexist peacefully—even in the midst of sibling rivalry.