New Insights on Tantrums That Could Save You a Headache

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What if you could watch your child’s tantrums from a more detached perspective, like a scientist observing behavior in a lab? Imagine knowing that these meltdowns often follow a predictable pattern and that there are effective strategies to manage them. Recent findings from researchers at the University of Minnesota and the University of Connecticut shed light on this very topic.

According to NPR, these researchers outfitted toddlers with onesies fitted with a tiny microphone to capture their tantrums. They compiled audio samples from over 100 tantrums to analyze the typical “flow” of a meltdown. Although listening to 100 kids throw fits sounds like a daunting task, the insights gained are invaluable.

The study revealed that toddlers’ vocalizations unfold in predictable patterns, showcasing a rhythm throughout the tantrum. As Shankar Vedantam notes for NPR, understanding what constitutes a “normal” tantrum can help parents and caregivers differentiate between typical behavior and signs of deeper issues.

Interestingly, the research found that the commonly held belief that tantrums comprise two distinct stages—anger followed by sadness—is a misconception. Anger and sadness actually occur simultaneously, with the peaks of anger manifesting as screaming and yelling, interspersed with whimpers of sadness.

What Should You Do During a Tantrum?

So, what should you do when your child is sobbing about having “too much dinner,” like my friend Sarah’s son? The key, as co-author Dr. Potegal explains, is to help the child move past the peaks of anger. Once that anger subsides, what remains is sadness, and sad children naturally seek comfort. The trick? Do nothing. I know, that’s easier said than done!

Dr. Potegal highlights “anger traps,” moments when parents may feel compelled to intervene, even when the reasoning behind the tantrum is nonsensical. For example, one child named Lily had a meltdown simply because she didn’t want her feet anymore. Her mom, trying to help, suggested cutting them off, which only escalated the situation further.

In another instance, Lily lost it over wanting to sit at the corner of a round table—a true tantrum in action! The takeaway? Ignoring the peaks of anger and holding back from offering comfort can help you navigate through the storm. Recognizing that the moment your child throws themselves on the floor could signify the downslope of their tantrum can also be helpful.

Different Strategies for Managing Tantrums

While the Mayo Clinic suggests ignoring tantrums initially and using time-outs as a strategy, I’ve found that time-outs aren’t effective for us. My son, in his fury, won’t stay on the “naughty chair,” leading to a constant back-and-forth that only fuels his rage. Instead, we’ve had better luck placing him in his childproofed room for a few minutes until he calms down, after which we can offer comfort.

Approaching tantrums with the mindset of a scientist might be an interesting distraction during those seemingly endless outbursts. But the comforting takeaway from this research is that all tantrums eventually come to an end, allowing both parent and child to breathe a sigh of relief. As Vedantam wisely points out, “No one can stay that angry for long. It’s exhausting.”

For more information, check out this excellent resource for pregnancy and home insemination, and remember to explore our other posts for valuable insights on parenting.

Summary

New research reveals that tantrums follow predictable patterns, suggesting effective strategies for parents to manage these outbursts. By understanding the intertwining of anger and sadness during a tantrum, caregivers can learn to navigate these challenging moments with greater ease.