As a parent, my top priority is to raise kind and empathetic children. My partner, Jake, and I strive to demonstrate generosity and a spirit of giving. Our son, Ethan, is involved in scouting, and we often discuss the importance of reaching out to others, especially those who may be shy or struggling to make friends. We encourage our kids to compliment their classmates and invite them to join in activities. To further this mission, I follow organizations like The Bully Project and share their insights with my children; it’s crucial for us all to play a role in stopping bullying.
In our home, we don’t endorse violence. We have two boys, Ethan and Noah, and like many boys, they sometimes turn ordinary objects into imaginary weapons. We make it clear that guns are dangerous and can cause real harm. If they accidentally hurt one another during their playful wrestling matches, we pause the fun, have them apologize, and share a hug.
However, when it comes to bullying, I believe in teaching my kids to stand up for themselves. While we cherish the values of kindness and compassion, we also want them to feel empowered and resilient. It’s a tough truth that the world can be harsh, and kids can be unkind. We refuse to let our clever and spirited children become victims. We want them to understand that it’s acceptable to fight back against anyone who tries to diminish their spirit.
We have three kids: Ethan, Noah, and our daughter Lily, and they all learn the same lesson: if someone attacks you, defend yourself. Stand tall, meet their gaze, and show them your strength. It’s important for them to understand that bullying can often be a cycle, where a child targeted in the early years may face ongoing harassment. So, while we encourage kindness, we also prepare them for the realities of life.
I’ve come across numerous articles suggesting that the best way to deal with bullying is to tackle the root causes of such behavior. I completely agree; it’s our responsibility as parents to raise non-bullies. Educators also play a vital role in addressing bullying in schools. But if anyone thinks I shouldn’t teach my kids to fight back, they’re mistaken—because that’s just not how we do things around here.
It’s heartbreaking to think that many bullies come from challenging home environments. Every child deserves love and affirmation, and I wish all kids were taught about kindness. Yet, I am aware that my children will encounter mean kids and adults throughout their lives. My role as their mother is to equip them to navigate these challenges with dignity and pride.
We’ve enrolled them in karate and taught them effective self-defense techniques. We emphasize the importance of body language: “Even if you’re scared,” we tell them, “don’t show it.” They need to carry themselves confidently, stand tall, and communicate assertively to let bullies know they won’t be victimized. And if necessary, they should fight back—strongly.
Cyberbullying presents a different challenge. How can my child “hit back” when attacked online? I’m still navigating that one. My hope is that by establishing strong boundaries early on, she’ll communicate to others that she’s not an easy target. Plus, I want her to grow up with a sense of confidence, knowing she can handle adversity. Ideally, my kids will emerge from challenging situations feeling empowered and capable.
So yes, I teach my kids to fight, and I stand by my decision.
If you’re interested in more insights on parenting and self-defense, check out this other informative blog post.
In summary, teaching kids to stand up against bullying is about balance—instilling kindness while also preparing them to defend themselves. As parents, we must equip our children to navigate a world where not everyone is kind.