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How My Mom’s Passing Helped Shape Me Into a Better Mother
On January 6, 2014, my life changed forever when my mom drove her car off a cliff. Though she had struggled with her mental health and attempted suicide before, nothing could prepare me for the shock of losing her. At that time, I was navigating the early stages of motherhood with my 18-month-old daughter, and I often find myself wishing for just a moment with her again—especially during those exhausting days of caring for my two little girls. While I yearn for her presence, I’ve learned valuable lessons through this heartache that have made me a better mom. Here are a few insights I’ve gained since her passing.
Live in the Moment, Let Go of Regrets
My mom often battled with guilt about not being more present when my sister and I were younger. I wish she could have recognized the joy in being part of her adult daughters’ lives and the lives of her grandchildren. I’m determined not to carry the same regrets, so I strive to make the most of my time with my daughters. I focus on being intentional with our moments together, ensuring we share plenty of hugs and kind words.
We only have 18 years before our children become independent, and I want to cherish every second. I also recognize that I’m only human, and there are days when fatigue or stress gets the best of me. I’ve made mistakes in my journey as a mother, and I know I will make more, but I’m committed to forgiving myself and learning from those experiences.
Leave Messages of Love
One thing I deeply miss is having a note or letter from my mom—something tangible to hold onto that carries her voice and warmth. Memories can fade, and photographs only capture fleeting moments. While I can’t change the past, I can create a legacy for my daughters. I’ve started a journal for each of them, where I write letters expressing my love and hopes for their futures. When I’m no longer here, they will know without a doubt how much they were cherished.
You Are More Beautiful Than You Realize
My mom often pointed out her own perceived flaws, but to me, she was the epitome of beauty. Many of us feel that way about our moms, and I know my daughters see me through the same loving lens. My preschooler frequently dresses me up in headbands and tiaras, exclaiming how beautiful I am. I choose to embrace that and show my daughters how to celebrate their own unique beauty and strengths. I won’t shy away from capturing memories in silly costumes or swimsuits just because of my insecurities.
Prioritize Your Well-being
My mom was unbelievably selfless, always putting others first—even at the expense of her own well-being. While not everyone faces the same challenges she did, many of us can relate to the overwhelming stress that comes with motherhood. I refuse to let my health suffer and take away from my ability to be the best mom I can be. I focus on eating well, exercising, and setting aside time for myself. By pursuing my passions and making time for friendships and hobbies, I become a better person, wife, and mother.
I truly hope no one has to endure the heartache of losing a loved one as I have, yet I share my experiences in hopes of inspiring other moms. For more insights into parenting and self-care, check out this post on home insemination kit. You can also learn about boosting fertility through supplements at Make a Mom. If you’re looking for additional resources on pregnancy and home insemination, UCSF’s Center offers excellent information.
In summary, while my mother’s passing has brought immense pain, it has also provided me with a renewed perspective on motherhood. I strive to cherish each moment, express my love, and prioritize my well-being.