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Teaching My Daughter the Value of Bravery
Last week, I took my 10-year-old daughter, Lily, on an adventure to the Hollywood sign. On clear days, we can see it from our home, and we’ve often talked about hiking up there. There was an easier route filled with tourists, well-paved and marked. But we chose the challenging one, which included two miles of rocky paths and a steep elevation gain of 1,000 feet. At one point, we navigated a ridge with a 300-foot drop on one side, so I kept her close during that part.
We’ve grown more comfortable with these kinds of outings. I’ve learned to be more patient, and she rarely cries anymore. Though she’s naturally bold, bravery is something you have to practice. Every few weeks, we plan an outing to push our limits, and this time it was the tough trail to the Hollywood sign. In the past, we’ve hiked through the Grand Canyon, canoed whitewater rapids, and even snorkeled with leopard sharks (that didn’t go as smoothly).
Sure, we could have spent our time watching movies or playing video games, which would have been far easier and safer. But what’s the point of a childhood without adventure? The real risks lie in entering adulthood without having learned how to tackle challenges. Bad things can happen, but that’s the case with anything meaningful in life. I believe the best way for my kids to discern which risks are worth taking is through practice.
After our hike, Lily excitedly shared photos with her friends. Some of them were wide-eyed at the sight of the cliff, and she said, “Adventures are worth the mishaps.” It’s a phrase she probably picked up somewhere, and I’m not sure she fully understands it yet. But I love that she’s starting to think that way. Slowly, she’s grasping the rewards that come from these experiences. As time goes on, she’ll also appreciate how they can shape her character.
While our weekend adventures are primarily physical, they also cultivate a different kind of bravery. Not all challenges Lily will face will be about strength; many will be moral. I want her to be equipped, not just to confront physical dangers, but also to show courage in how she treats others. As proud as I feel when she conquers a cliff or rides a big wave, nothing compares to the joy I feel when she uses her bravery to be kind. Recently, she invited a new classmate to join her at lunch, which is a small but meaningful act of courage.
As an adult, standing up for others will bring much greater risks. I hope she never has to face those kinds of tests, like standing up against a mob or defending innocent lives in a dangerous situation. Ideally, her toughest moral challenges would involve writing opinion pieces for the local paper or advocating for good books in the school library (especially those with bold ideas). But I know my daughter well; she is deeply affected by others’ suffering and will always lend a helping hand, no matter where it leads her.
That’s why we keep practicing bravery together. One day, she’ll need to draw from the well of courage we’ve built together, and I hope she discovers just how deep it runs. If I’ve done my job right, she’ll remember my guidance as we navigate past the cliffs towards new adventures waiting just over the next ridge. For more insights on parenting and home insemination, check out this blog post.
In summary, teaching a child to be brave involves pushing them out of their comfort zone and helping them navigate both physical and moral challenges. By creating opportunities for adventure, we can equip them with the tools they need to face life’s uncertainties with courage and kindness.