I noticed the disapproval in the doctor’s gaze and the sharpness in her voice when she treated my 2-year-old son at urgent care. As she handed me the prescription, she turned to him and said, “We say excuse me!” I felt a wave of discomfort wash over me as she questioned where he had learned to shout “yay!” instead of the more polite “excuse me.” I couldn’t help but feel guilty.
My son is strong-minded—or as some might say, spirited. I believe he declared “I can do it” before he could even talk! He’s perpetually busy, like he’s got a packed schedule to follow. He’s always moving! It seems he doesn’t hear me 99% of the time, so I’ve resorted to some attention-grabbing techniques that sometimes backfire—like this incident. I shoved the prescription into my bag and hurriedly said, “Oh, I’m not sure!” and left. I was left with feelings of disappointment, frustration, and hurt. That doctor defined my child in a blink of an eye, but my son is so much more than just one moment.
I prefer to think of my son not as “strong-willed” but as “on the go”—not only because he’s always headed somewhere (often leaving me behind) but also because it’s a fantastic personality trait. Still, anyone who’s dealt with a child like this knows the challenges. There are the doctors in urgent care, the onlookers in the grocery store, and even sometimes family members. So many people are watching, judging, labeling, and trying to “fix” the situation, just like that doctor did.
Flipping the Narrative
But what if we flipped the narrative on these spirited kids? What do we get?
- My son isn’t disobedient; he’s independent.
- He isn’t aggressive; he’s confident.
- He isn’t outspoken; he’s vocal.
- He isn’t a troublemaker; he’s brave.
- He isn’t emotional; he’s expressive.
- He isn’t selfish; he’s determined.
- He isn’t strong-willed; he’s powerful.
Sure, my son can put his hands on his hips at 9 months old, and yes, he often screams and cries when things don’t go his way. He can dominate the playground, sending bigger kids running for cover. Waiting in line? Not an option. And a bib that clashes with his outfit? Absolutely unacceptable. Don’t even get me started on “time-outs”—I’m pretty sure the neighbors know when we’re having one! He can be a handful, but he’s also remarkable. Beneath the surface, there’s a child learning to cope with his emotions—a little one taking in a world that often feels overwhelming.
It’s easy for people to forget that a 2-year-old can’t act with malicious intent. Strong-willed kids aren’t being difficult; they’re just figuring out how to navigate life. It’s quite impressive when you think about it.
A Call for Understanding
Next time you see a spirited child in action, I encourage you to pay closer attention. Watch him walk into preschool, ready to learn and explore without shedding a tear. He’ll approach teachers and classmates with more self-assurance than the principal. Trying new things? No problem! Peer pressure won’t stand a chance against his determination. Yes, he’s strong-willed; he’s powerful. This kid is destined for great things.
So, thanks for the prescription, doc, but we’ll pass on your advice about my son’s behavior. We’ve got this! Please don’t judge or label my child; he’s doing just fine, and he’s so much more than just the moment you witnessed.
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In Summary
Remember that spirited children are filled with potential. Instead of labeling them, let’s celebrate their unique qualities and support their growth.