The Real Deal on Having a Third Child That Nobody Warns You About

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When you welcome your first child, it’s like you’ve become the star of the universe. No one else has ever experienced this joy before; it’s the biggest moment ever! You can nap when you want, strolling around with your hands on your belly, eagerly waiting for that perfect baby bump. You feel serene and are always smiling, relishing the nausea because it means your baby is thriving. You’re all about fresh, organic food, avoiding alcohol, and diligently taking your vitamins. It feels like a beautiful dream that will never end. The advice and information pour in, often including horror stories about labor. Your doctor actually spends time talking to you. You celebrate with baby showers complete with games—like squishing a Ferrero Rocher in a diaper while pretending it’s baby poop, which you think is a bit gross.

Everyone is eager to help you, offering to shop for you and donate their old baby clothes. Friends and family can’t wait to touch your bump and beam with happiness when they find out it’s your first child. You believe everyone when they say it will be the most incredible experience of your life. You read books like What to Expect When You’re Expecting, subscribe to parenting magazines, and join online forums. You spend weeks designing the nursery to perfection and invest time in researching SIDS and developmental milestones. Safety is your top priority; you child-proof the house like a pro, ensuring every potentially hazardous item is stored away safely. You wash baby clothes with the gentlest detergents, cut out any tags that might irritate your little one, and vow that your child will never touch a pacifier or thumb-suck. You’re convinced they’ll be a genius.

Second Time Around

Second time around, your toddler takes center stage. You’ve forgotten most of the baby-related details, only reminiscing about your pregnancy during the rare quiet moments at night. Naps are a thing of the past, and you look like you’re six months along by the time you hit your second trimester. Your life feels chaotic, and you yell more than you’d like. You still appreciate the signs of pregnancy, but it’s more about those fleeting moments of bathroom solitude. You try to eat healthily but often end up finishing your toddler’s leftovers. You remember to take vitamins when you can, but let’s be honest, it’s a struggle.

People’s advice shifts from baby care to horror stories of toddlers locking babies in cupboards. You miss a few doctor appointments and receive fewer cards or gifts than you did the first time. Friends offer you their old baby gear whether you want it or not, and while some people are mildly interested, they’re not as enthusiastic as before. When you drag What to Expect off the shelf, it’s to read about how to make the transition easier for your toddler. You hastily move your toddler to a big kid bed, buy some new crib sheets, and get a box of newborn diapers. Your nursery is set, and you’re more relaxed about safety this time around.

The Arrival of the Third Child

By the time your third child arrives, your life resembles a circus. You have a preschooler and a toddler, both loudly asserting their importance. You might not even realize you’re pregnant until you notice the extra pounds. You’ve mastered the art of napping with your eyes open, and shouting has become a regular part of your day. You carry Target bags for when you need to vomit and consider Ritz crackers your main diet. Vegetables? Who needs them? You don’t even bother with alcohol because, quite frankly, it tastes terrible. Your vitamins? You take them once and forget about it for the rest of your pregnancy.

No one offers you advice anymore; some think you’re a bit crazy for having a third child. People assume it was an accident, and you get a mix of sympathetic and judgmental looks. Your obstetrician might see you for the first time when you’re in labor. Friends and family may share pitying glances, but there are no parties or congratulatory cards. You’ve given away your parenting books and can’t afford magazines anymore. The nursery is set up using what you have left, and you exchange baby gear for a wine fridge instead. You joke with your older children about who gets to be the “best big sibling.”

As you pack your hospital bag, you focus on what you want in terms of pain relief and look forward to a break from cooking for everyone. You can’t help but feel a mix of excitement and chaos as you prepare for your new arrival. This baby will remind you of the immense capacity of love in your heart. You’ll see your older kids anew, feeling the ache of being away from them. You’ll be grateful to your partner for the three gifts they’ve given you, and despite the noise and mess, you’ll find moments of pure joy. You’ll realize that although your life is loud and busy, it’s also filled with love, and in the end, you’ll feel complete.

In Summary

In summary, while the journey of having a third child is filled with ups and downs, it teaches you just how much love and chaos your family can hold. Each child brings its own unique challenges and joys, and at the end of the day, you wouldn’t change a thing.