Every year, on September 8, we release balloons into the sky to celebrate our son’s birthday, a tradition that has become a cherished ritual for our family. This year, our older children, Mia and Ethan, chose a fun theme centered around superheroes. The excitement in their eyes as they release the balloons is a poignant reminder of the joy and love we still hold for our son, who we lost too soon. Liam would have turned 7 this year, and while he is not physically with us, his spirit is deeply embedded in our hearts.
I still vividly recall the day my husband, Jake, and I discovered we were expecting. It was January 1, 2010, and I was overwhelmed with happiness. I had a strong feeling we were having a boy and spent hours planning the perfect nursery and researching names. Everything seemed to be going smoothly until our routine anatomy scan at 20 weeks took a heartbreaking turn. The technician, with a worried look, told us our baby was hiding, and moments later, the doctor delivered the devastating news: our son had a serious heart defect called hypoplastic left heart syndrome (HLHS).
Despite the grim diagnosis, we chose to hold onto hope and continued with the pregnancy, seeking expert care and praying for a miracle. On September 8, 2010, Liam Jude entered our lives, bringing immeasurable love and joy. However, we soon learned he would need multiple heart surgeries, starting when he was just days old. It was painfully difficult to see him in such a fragile state, and I often felt guilty, wishing I could take away his suffering.
After what felt like a long struggle, we finally brought Liam home, filled with a mix of hope and anxiety. But tragically, that hope was shattered when we received the call that every parent dreads. Liam had a sudden, severe episode and needed immediate medical attention. When we arrived at the hospital, our worst fears were confirmed. I held my son one last time, free from pain, and surrounded by love.
In the months that followed, grief consumed me. I struggled with anger and isolation, feeling that life around us carried on while we were stuck in sorrow. It was a friend’s suggestion to attend a support group for parents who had experienced similar losses that ultimately helped us find a path forward. Here, we connected with others who understood our pain, and some had even found ways to honor their own lost children.
As the years went by, we began to celebrate Liam’s life rather than only mourn his passing. Each year, we gather family and friends to visit his resting place. We read letters to him, release doves, and bake a cake, ensuring that Liam is remembered with love and joy. This year, Mia and Ethan were especially eager to release the balloons, and as we did, we said, “Happy Birthday, Liam,” with both smiles and tears.
While we can’t change the past, we are grateful for the time we had with him. Each balloon we let go symbolizes our enduring love and the bittersweet reality of what could have been. We share Liam’s story with our younger siblings, ensuring they know they have a big brother who watches over them.
In our hearts, Liam will always remain a part of our family, and we celebrate him not just on his birthday, but every day we live. It’s important to cherish the moments we have and find ways to honor those we’ve lost, creating a legacy of love that continues to inspire us.
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Summary
This heartfelt piece reflects on the importance of celebrating a lost child’s birthday, highlighting the balance of grief and joy in remembering their life. The tradition of releasing balloons serves as a powerful symbol of love, connection, and the enduring impact of those we hold dear.