By: Emily Carter
*Dec. 24, 2015*
*Syda Productions / Shutterstock*
For the past five years, my default state has been “frantic.” After welcoming my incredible twins into the world, I realized that my previous notion of being “busy” was laughably naïve. The balancing act I’ve accepted as my new normal—managing life with these “adorable” little ones—resembles something like trying to balance a stack of fine china on my forehead while chained to a 40-pound weight.
I recall a chat I had with a co-worker who admitted he wasn’t ready to have kids. “I’m not ready to give up my freedom,” he said. At the time, I didn’t think much of his words. Freedom? My ovaries have been clamoring for years! That conversation faded away during my pregnancy, only to resurface with a vengeance once the babies arrived, making me fully grasp what “giving up my freedom” truly entailed.
Giving up my freedom meant holding onto my bladder, which was about to burst, while I finished changing my daughter’s diaper, prepared their snack, and wiped up the bizarre stain on the carpet. And—oh great, is that another dirty diaper I smell? Seriously, children, let’s not turn this into a competition to fill the diaper pail!
It also meant skipping brushing my teeth after a long breastfeeding session because my daughter was finally asleep, but my son was wide awake and ready to chatter away. Then, of course, my daughter would wake up again.
Giving up my freedom meant that the idea of date nights with my husband was just a joke. What are those again?
Looking back, I could have shaken my co-worker for not giving me a heads-up on what I was about to experience. Had he uncovered some secret wisdom without ever living it himself? Or was I just swept away by my own desires?
These days, the phrase “I’m not ready to give up my freedom” evolves constantly. As my infants have grown into adorable little toddlers, it’s become a whirlwind of chasing after them, keeping track of their every move, and letting go of that sandwich I’ve craved for hours. Now that they can articulate their wants, my life is filled with responding to their demands for snacks, toys, and encouraging their early potty training achievements.
I often reminisce about the family life I longed for before kids, imagining perfectly dressed children playing with their pristine wooden blocks. I think about how I used to fill my days and the things I still try to accomplish—albeit with far less focus and energy than I once had. The struggle between enjoying my children and holding onto my pre-parenting life has been real. But eventually, I realized that trying to maintain that old life was pointless because it wasn’t my life anymore.
This is my life now. This is our life. This is the time of our lives—this beautifully chaotic existence that my partner and I have nurtured. Our three little ones trail behind us like a flock of ducklings, and I wouldn’t trade it for anything. It’s vibrant, full of love, and wonderfully imperfect.
When life shifts, it’s important to adjust your expectations. This is the time of our lives when the dirty dishes can wait because we’re busy watching Rudolph the Red-Nosed Reindeer with the kids, sharing memories from our own childhoods.
This is the time of our lives, even if my hair is still damp when I pull it back because my daughter wants to show me her latest dance move in her star-studded tutu. This is when my son asks a million questions during a football game, and I discover a newfound joy in witnessing his passion.
Their endless questions and the way they process the world fill me with awe. Even when I step on a Cheerio and think about cleaning up, I remember my 18-month-old squealing with delight, thinking I’m coming to chase her. Why would I want to do anything else? There are still those early morning wake-ups when I hold my sweet baby, relishing the warmth of her sleepy body against mine.
These days, “I’m not ready to give up my freedom” means I’ll never return to the pre-kid days, and I wouldn’t have it any other way. This is the life I dreamed of, and now it’s my reality—full of love, joy, and yes, exhaustion. But it has never been better.
If you’re seeking more insights into family and parenting, check out this other blog post that dives into similar topics. You can also explore this resource for more information on pregnancy and home insemination. For those considering fertility options, Make a Mom offers some excellent resources too.
Summary:
This heartfelt reflection highlights the chaotic yet fulfilling journey of parenting twins. The author shares her realizations about the sacrifices and joys of motherhood, emphasizing the importance of adjusting expectations and embracing the present. The piece concludes with a celebration of family life, even amidst the challenges.