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Danskos: The Comfy Culprits
I have a serious love affair with my Dansko clogs, and honestly, many of my friends do too. These shoes are a beloved choice for all types of folks—moms, hipsters, chefs, healthcare workers, teachers, and even celebrities like Tina Fey and Jennifer Garner.
Are They Comfy?
Oh yes, they feel like walking on clouds! I vividly remember the first time I slipped on a pair; I felt taller and a bit more Scandinavian, if that makes sense.
But Are They Affordable?
Not quite. A typical pair of Danskos will set you back around $120. Back in the days when I had a bit of extra cash, I treated myself to several pairs. I’ve also scored a couple of cute finds at thrift shops (I still hear angels singing from my $7.99 patent Professionals at Value Village), and some generous friends have gifted me their old pairs. These shoes are built to last, and if you care for them (think avoiding fire and overly curious puppies), they’ll see you through years of wear.
Let’s Talk About the Looks
Sexy? Not in the slightest. My ex used to call them “those big black shoe things.” They’re practically the modern version of wooden clogs—definitely not strappy or sleek. Instead, they let you stomp confidently through parking lots, grocery stores, and school hallways. Need a sturdy shoe? You’ve got it.
Think of Danskos as the Volvo station wagon of footwear. Sure, they’re boxy and practical, but they’re well-made and favored by those who understand that quality comes at a price. Plus, both Dansko and Volvo end with an “O.”
The Dansko Secret
But here’s the kicker: there’s a little-known secret about Danskos. A secret that won’t be revealed on their website or by salespeople: Danskos have a tendency to betray you.
I can attest to this personally. About seven years ago, I was on the brink of divorce, but still getting along with my soon-to-be ex. One day, I stepped outside to chat with him while wearing my Danskos, and as I cleared the top step of my porch, I experienced what I now call “The Dansko Roll.” My foot rolled off the side, I heard a crunch, and down I went, tumbling the rest of the way down the steps. But no worries! I got up and limped over to say hi, trying to play it cool.
After he left, I inspected my ankle, which was already swelling and looked like a zombie’s foot in a horror film. It hurt like crazy, but I had a date that night with a guy I nicknamed Thrifty Tim, who resembled Mr. Big but was a terrible tipper. I wasn’t about to let a swollen ankle ruin my evening. I stuffed my foot into some cute black boots and tried to minimize my walking as we enjoyed an AC/DC cover band. I may have even shed a few tears when Tim kissed me goodnight. Not because of romance, but because I dreaded unzipping my boot and revealing my gruesomely swollen ankle.
Yet, despite the pain, I kept wearing my Danskos. Over the years, I’ve had near-misses, stumbles, and even heard stories of friends breaking ankles in theirs. But we still wear them.
Just this past weekend, while in a cleaning frenzy (which I like to call Rage Cleaning Mode), I was muttering about my kids being the worst roommates ever while taking recycling out in my Danskos. Mid-rant, my foot slipped, and I took a lovely slide down my snowy steps. After some ice therapy with a bag of frozen peas, I tried to convince myself it wasn’t that bad. I even consulted a few doctor friends, concluding that nothing signals “martini time” like a sore foot.
But I’ve hit that age where I can no longer just “walk it off.” The next morning, my friend, Sarah, dragged me to an orthopedic clinic (after I had a quick beauty routine for my ankle, of course). After several x-rays and a charming doctor examining my injury, I left with a lovely foot brace.
When I shared my saga with a coworker, she glanced at my new accessory and asked if I was done with Danskos. “Not a chance,” I replied. She chuckled as she walked away in her own well-loved Danskos.
Once bitten, shame on you, Dansko. Twice bitten? Well, that’s on me. But hey, at least I’ll be comfy until the next mishap!
Further Reading
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In Summary
Danskos are beloved for their comfort and durability, despite the occasional mishaps they cause. Many of us continue to wear them, even with the risk of injury, all in the name of comfort and style.