What I Wish Someone Had Told Me When I Became a Mom

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Ever since I was a child, I dreamed of becoming a mom. I adored playing with dolls, always pretending to be the caring mother. When my little brother came along, I treated him like my own baby, snuggling and caring for him whenever I could. I even started babysitting as soon as I was old enough; it was my favorite thing to do.

Everyone told me I would be a fantastic mom someday, that it would come naturally to me. They were all mistaken. Nothing about motherhood matched the idyllic fantasies I had. I had imagined being handed my baby, who would latch on perfectly, and I would immediately be swept away in waves of love and bliss.

But that wasn’t the case. My baby refused to latch! Each time I tried to nurse, he would turn away, fall asleep, or simply clamp his mouth shut. I was told to express milk into a spoon for him, and it felt so unnatural. I felt disconnected from my body and my little one.

Surprisingly, I didn’t fall in love with my baby right away. I thought he was adorable, but I didn’t feel that overwhelming urge to protect him at first. I assumed that would happen instantly, and when it didn’t, I felt utterly lost.

Everything was different than I envisioned. I felt blindsided, unsure of what I was doing. My life had changed forever, and I found myself longing for my pre-baby days. Between nursing, pumping, sleepless nights, and barely finding time to eat or shower, I thought I might lose myself entirely.

More than anything, I was frustrated with myself for believing it would be easy. I assumed I would slip into motherhood effortlessly and gracefully. Why hadn’t anyone told me it would be this challenging? Why didn’t someone explain that real motherhood often looks nothing like the books or movies portray, or even like the experiences of other moms you’ve met?

Perhaps nothing could have truly prepared me for those early months. But sometimes I wish someone had shared a few truths about becoming a mom:

• I wish someone had told me that motherhood is unique for everyone. There’s no single way to do it, and most of us are just figuring it out as we go along.
• I wish someone had mentioned that the challenges of motherhood are ever-evolving. Just when you think you’ve got it down, a new hurdle appears. Motherhood is a journey, not a destination.
• I wish I had known that motherhood can be chaotic, messy, exhausting, and confusing, and that all of that is perfectly normal.
• I wish someone had told me that no one walks into motherhood with all the answers. It’s all about expecting the unexpected, and developing a sense of humor is essential.
• I wish someone had explained that some mothers bond with their babies immediately, while for others, that love grows slowly—like molasses.
• I wish someone had advised me to be patient; the newborn phase passes in the blink of an eye. Things do get easier on their own, and all you need to do is show up and do your best.
• I wish someone had encouraged me to ask for help. New moms need practical support, like groceries or someone to tackle laundry—not just visitors swooning over the baby.

Above all, I wish someone had simply sat with me, listened to my worries and doubts, and helped me feel less alone.

I don’t recall the exact moment when I understood that I could do this—this beautiful mess of motherhood. Maybe it was when nursing became easier, or when I started to catch some sleep. Perhaps it was that one evening when I watched my baby coo and kick on the bed, and I felt an overwhelming surge of love and a fierce desire to protect him.

When I think back to those early days of motherhood, it’s all a bit hazy—exhausting yet beautiful. But in the moment, it can feel completely overwhelming and terrifying. Every new mom needs a lot of love, support, and reassurance. Motherhood may not always unfold as expected, but every mother finds her way in her own time. So hang in there—before you know it, you’ll be on the other side!

For more insights on navigating the journey of motherhood, check out this blog post or visit Make a Mom for expert advice. Also, Facts About Fertility offers fantastic resources on pregnancy and home insemination.

In summary, becoming a mom is a unique journey filled with unexpected challenges and joys. It’s essential to embrace the chaos, seek help, and remember that every mother’s experience is different.