Showering: The Mom Edition

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As women, we sacrifice a lot of our former indulgences once we step into the beautiful chaos of motherhood. It’s no surprise that those leisurely Sundays spent lounging in robes with a cup of coffee and a good book are a thing of the past. Gone are the carefree brunches with friends, where you can sip mimosas without glancing at your phone every few seconds, fretting over messages like, “Hey babe, if our kid fell and needed stitches, what would you do? And where did you put the Band-Aids?” We all understand that once we welcome a little one into our lives, those blissful, self-centered moments fade away. But our showers? Those glorious 15 minutes to wash away the grime of the day? Yes, they get hijacked too.

Before Kids:

• Start by running the hot water while checking out your skin in the mirror.
• Add a few drops of lavender essential oil to the steam. Wait, maybe eucalyptus is better? Yes, eucalyptus it is!
• Undress and eye your reflection, wishing you weren’t so “fluffy” (if only you knew!).
• Step into the shower.
• Begin with a foot scrub, meticulously removing dead skin with a homemade peppermint scrub.
• Lather up! Use a loofah for your body and an exfoliating glove for those rough spots on your arms.
• Time for the hair. Shampoo twice—once with a purple shampoo for that perfect blonde, then again with a rich hydrating formula. Rinse, lather, repeat.
• Apply conditioner and let it sit for at least 7 minutes.
• Shave everything. Yes, even that fine fuzz on your toe—can’t have anyone noticing!
• Treat yourself to a deep pore cleansing steam facial with cleanser, Clarisonic, exfoliating scrub, and a hydrating mask. Rinse, apply, repeat.
• Step out of the shower.
• You’ll need two towels—one for your hair and one for your body.
• Dry off, but don’t go completely dry! Apply body cream while still damp for best results.
• Moisturize! Start with your face: eye cream, serum, hydrating cream, sunscreen. Next, the body: bikini line serum, foot cream, coconut oil, bronzing lotion. Finish with hair: color seal serum, styling cream, and a hint of split-end oil.
• Slip into a cozy robe, freshly warmed by your partner while you showered, wrapping yourself in comfort.

After Kids:

• Stealthily sneak into the bathroom once you’ve put the baby down for a nap.
• Hop in the shower and turn on the water, but it’s icy cold! No time to waste, so you jump in anyway.
• Bring your toothbrush along. You multitask like a pro—brush your teeth while dispensing soap into your other hand.
• Soap’s out? No problem—use shampoo instead!
• Scrub as much as you can with one hand while brushing your teeth with the other.
• Finally, the water warms up!
• Turn off the shower and step out.
• Snatch up the wet towel from the floor that your partner used earlier and dry off quickly.
• Slip into yesterday’s yoga pants and a tee!

So, the next time you find yourself in line behind a perfectly polished, child-free woman, give her a knowing smile. You were once that woman too, and you now understand that being called “Mom” is far more fulfilling than any corporate title. One day, she might be in the same position, wondering how she went from designer heels to “Oops, I’m still in slippers!”

For more insightful tips and relatable stories, check out our related posts, like this one. And if you’re looking for expert information on home insemination, visit this site. Also, for helpful resources on pregnancy, check out Mount Sinai.

In summary, motherhood transforms every aspect of life, including those once-peaceful showers. While those moments of solitude may be lost, the joys of motherhood are immeasurable.