I Sought My Tween’s Perspective on Social Media, and His Thoughts Took Me by Surprise

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As a writer, I find myself spending a significant amount of time on social media—perhaps too much. I often share snippets of my life through words and images on various platforms, documenting the amusing antics and adorable faces of my children. However, as my kids grow older, they’ve begun to express their feelings about what I post, and I make sure to respect their boundaries. My 11-year-old son, in particular, has some intriguing insights into the world of social media.

One day, while chatting with my husband about a Facebook post I was about to make, my son chimed in with his comical “Brenda” voice—an amusing take on a middle-aged woman who embodies a mix of a valley girl and Pee-Wee Herman. He remarked, “Oh boy, Facebook. Let’s check it out, girls!” He then explained that Facebook seemed like a platform for moms to boast about their lives and kids. I found his observation both interesting and quite accurate.

“Think about it,” he continued. “We take a million pictures daily just so you can share them on Facebook. Does anyone actually care about our day-to-day lives?” This made me pause and reflect. Does anyone really care? Perhaps “care” isn’t the right term; social media allows us to live vicariously through others without the need for lengthy conversations about mundane events.

Curious, I pressed on, asking him how he felt about my Facebook sharing. “Sometimes it’s okay,” he admitted, “but honestly, I don’t find your stories as funny as you do. Sorry!” Fair enough.

Next, I asked for his thoughts on TikTok, expecting a strong opinion. He didn’t disappoint. He expressed disdain for what he calls “TikTok girls,” criticizing their silly dances and attempts to appear “drippy”—a term I had to look up, meaning cool or stylish. “It’s just a waste of time. People don’t need to try so hard to be cool; they should just be themselves.” I found that quite insightful for someone entering middle school.

He acknowledged that while TikTok has its funny moments, many users diminish that quality by trying too hard to impress. He then reminded me, “But you only let me see it on your phone because I’m too young, right?” Touché. I don’t allow him to use TikTok or any social media yet, believing he’s too young to navigate a world that he may not fully understand.

We then shifted gears to discuss Instagram. Given that my partner works as an influencer there, I was eager to hear his take. “Instagram is for businesses, right? It feels like everything is just marketing something,” he stated. I explained the intricacies of advertising, but by his expression, I could tell he considered it a waste of time.

When I asked him about social media in general, he reflected, “Well, you’ve been doing this my whole life, so it’s normal for me. But I don’t get why you spend so much time on it. It’s like you’re addicted to Facebook, similar to how you are with Diet Coke.” Ouch! He’s not wrong; I do spend a considerable amount of time on social media, especially Facebook, where I have over 1,000 friends and often scroll for hours.

As we wrapped up, I asked him what he envisions for his future with social media. His sweet response was, “I hope to stay connected with friends like you do. I want to be close to my brothers and cousins, so they see me as the cool uncle.” I reassured him that I’m sure they will think he’s a cool uncle. Social media is here to stay and will evolve, so it will be fascinating to see how his generation will navigate it.

In conclusion, I reminded him to be cautious about sharing online, as once something is posted, it’s out there for good. And if he ever gets a friend request from me in the future, I hope he’ll accept it.

For additional insights on this topic, check out this blog post or learn more at Make a Mom and Kindbody.

Summary:

In a conversation about social media, a mother discovers her tween son’s surprising perspectives on platforms like Facebook, TikTok, and Instagram. He views Facebook as a place for parental bragging, critiques the need for “TikTok girls” to appear cool, and expresses a desire to maintain connections with friends and family as he grows older. The discussion highlights the evolving nature of social media and the importance of navigating it thoughtfully.