5 Things People Never Ask Working Dads

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Let’s face it, there’s a bit of a double standard when it comes to working parents. Yes, we know the wage gap exists, and it’s frustrating that women often face more scrutiny when balancing work and family, especially those of us who are working moms. Here are five questions that make our eyes roll, which I bet my husband, Tom, has never been asked:

1. Are you planning to return to work after the baby arrives?
   It’s a strange question that many expectant moms hear, almost as if it’s assumed that deciding to stay home is the norm. I get the curiosity, but I can’t help but feel annoyed hearing it, especially as the primary breadwinner in our family. I doubt anyone would ever consider asking Tom this.
2. Does it bother you that someone else is caring for your child?
   Seriously, can we stop with this one? Our daycare is a fantastic place where our little one learns and grows. Tom and I are the ones raising her, and it’s disheartening to hear that anyone would suggest otherwise. I’m sure second-grade parents don’t get this kind of questioning. It’s a given that kids will be around other caregivers, but the core values we instill come from us at home. Has Tom faced this inquiry? Nope.
3. You must be exhausted! Have you thought about staying home?
   Oh, absolutely, every five minutes! If “throwing in the towel” means I want to scream into a pillow or hide under my desk, then yes. Everyone, parents or not, knows the work-life struggle is real. Yet somehow, no one assumes Tom would just give up because he’s tired. It’s baffling.
4. Are you considering hiring a nanny if you have another child?
   Whoa there! You’re asking about a future baby and making assumptions about our childcare plans? I love Tom, and he’s a great dad—imagine the look on his face if someone asked him that!
5. Do you think you’ll be able to work as much with a baby?
   Actually, I can, but it might look a bit different. Both Tom and I work full-time and often juggle our schedules to accommodate parenting. I really wish workplaces recognized that both moms and dads deserve flexible hours. Yet, it seems like there’s an unspoken belief that I should cut back, while Tom is trusted to handle it all without question.

Ultimately, parenting is tough for everyone, no matter where they work or what their gender is. It’s just particularly infuriating to be a driven woman who faces these kinds of questions repeatedly, almost like we get a professional handicap as soon as we become moms. We might not change the narrative overnight, but we can certainly stand firm in the face of these outdated attitudes. Let’s work together to challenge these stereotypes and create a more supportive environment for all working parents.

If you’re interested in more about navigating parenthood, feel free to check out some of our other posts, like this insightful one on home insemination here and learn more about the artificial insemination process at Make a Mom. For a deeper dive into related topics, this Wikipedia entry on in vitro fertilisation is an excellent resource.

In summary, working dads rarely face the same questions as their female counterparts, leading to a frustrating double standard. It’s crucial to recognize the challenges both parents face and to advocate for a more equitable workplace for everyone.