By: Lily Anderson
One of the biggest ironies of pregnancy is that the very things that make life enjoyable—like wine, coffee, cheese, and even a good night’s sleep—are all off the table. And guess what? That’s when you crave them the most!
But here’s something that really gets my goat: listening to someone complain about their struggle to live without caffeine and alcohol, especially when they chose to give them up on their own. I’m currently in my third trimester with baby No. 2, and I came across a post from a guy who decided to ditch both for six months. He made it sound like he was a martyr for the cause, sharing his “sacrifices” with the world.
From the self-important tone of his writing, you’d think he was out there heroically cleaning bathroom floors for the sake of orphaned kittens. He claimed that giving up these vices was incredibly tough, but in return, he earned a bunch of benefits:
- Clearer skin
- More energy
- Better sleep
- Less bloating
- A more productive life (apparently, he used to spend weekends nursing hangovers)
I applaud anyone striving for self-improvement, but this post felt like more of a self-pity party than genuine advice.
Well, guess what? I haven’t touched caffeine or alcohol in over seven months either! And this isn’t even my first rodeo. So what do I have to show for it? Swollen ankles and an ongoing mild annoyance for everyone within earshot.
And that’s just the beginning! Other delightful side effects include:
- Insomnia that could rival a night owl
- Constant discomfort and a sense of losing control over my body
- An uptick in comparisons to large mammals (thanks, folks)
- An invisible force field attracting everyone who wants to poke my belly or give unsolicited advice
- A toddler with a knack for creating chaos at the worst possible moments
Ironically, I’ve felt hungover for months, and I haven’t sipped on a single cocktail!
While it’s been ages since I had to tackle qualitative analysis for grad school, I can’t help but draw a couple of conclusions:
- All this discomfort began when I waved goodbye to caffeine and alcohol.
- Those beverages must be the solution to my woes.
- This self-proclaimed “Supreme Lord of Self-Discipline” is just a bit smug.
Maybe next, he can write about the acrobatics involved in painting your toenails when your belly extends three feet in front of you.
To be fair, I also gave up caffeine and alcohol willingly. After all, I’ve gone through quite a journey to get and stay pregnant, and I truly appreciate the privilege of experiencing these challenging symptoms. It would just be a lot easier to keep this perspective while sipping on a tall dark roast after a solid eight hours of sleep with zero bathroom breaks.
If you’re interested in learning more about home insemination, you can check out this post on intracervicalinsemination.com. Also, if you’re considering an at-home insemination kit, Make A Mom is a great resource. And for more insights on pregnancy, UCSF’s Center is an excellent resource.
In summary, while giving up caffeine and alcohol can lead to some unexpected challenges, it’s all a part of the beautiful rollercoaster that is pregnancy.