One morning, my 2-year-old, Max, decided to throw a monumental tantrum just as we were heading out for donuts. I had promised his older siblings a treat at their favorite donut shop for all their hard work cleaning the house. To avoid punishing them because their little brother was having a meltdown, I opted for the drive-thru instead. I managed to maintain my composure as Max screamed in the backseat, but suddenly, he yelled out, “I’ll take two dumb-dumbs and one ugly!” while kicking my seat. Those were the only ‘bad words’ he knew, and he was determined to express his frustration since he wasn’t getting his way.
I did my best to sidestep a full-blown public tantrum, but the entire drive-thru heard him anyway. Let’s be real: tantrums are a part of life. Kids will have them—sometimes at home, and sometimes right in the middle of Target. It’s 2023, and we need to ditch the mentality that children should be seen and not heard. Instead, let’s approach these situations with some empathy and understanding:
1. Tantrums Are Normal
Tantrums are a standard aspect of child development. Trust me, I’ve been there—my three kids all went through this phase, even my typically well-behaved daughter, Lily. She was calm, slept well, and rarely cried, but every now and then, she would unleash a public tantrum. It didn’t mean she was a spoiled brat; she would return to her cheerful self once the storm passed—sometimes even happier.
2. It’s Not About Discipline
Back in my early 20s, before I had kids, I foolishly believed that tantrums stemmed from poor discipline. I often found myself wondering how parents could allow their children to scream while I enjoyed margaritas with friends. Well, I’ve since learned my lesson—my own children have interrupted my nacho-eating sessions more than once, and I quickly realized that trying to discipline them in those moments rarely works.
3. Every Child Experiences It
Yes, every single child. They have wants and needs but haven’t yet mastered how to communicate them effectively. Sometimes they’re simply uncomfortable or having a bad day. Honestly, I feel like throwing a tantrum now and then, but being an adult means I can pour myself a glass of wine instead.
4. No One Enjoys the Situation
Neither the child, the parents, nor the cashier at the checkout line are having a good time—it’s just part of life. Just like I don’t relish going to the gynecologist or picking up after my dog, tantrums are something we all have to deal with at times. In fact, witnessing a screaming toddler can make you appreciate the peaceful moments at home so much more.
5. Let Parents Handle It
Unless you’re genuinely willing to help, don’t interfere with the parents. Overstepping boundaries can confuse the child, escalate their anger, and frustrate the parents even more. Sure, there are a few parents who might let their kids scream during a wedding ceremony, but generally, parents know how to handle their children. It’s their responsibility to advocate for their child’s needs.
Tantrums are simply part of life. If you venture out in public, you’re bound to see one, and a little kindness towards parents enduring such moments would go a long way compared to the judgmental glares from others who should mind their own business. So, expect to witness a public tantrum every now and then, and remember to approach it without judgment.
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Summary
Public tantrums are a normal part of childhood development, and parents do their best to handle them. Instead of judging, we should approach these situations with empathy, recognizing that every child will have moments of distress. It’s crucial to allow parents the space to manage their kids without added pressure from onlookers.