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A Call for Women to Use Public Toilet Seats
By: Alex Harper
Updated: Jan. 24, 2020
Originally Published: Jan. 18, 2016
Using a public restroom often feels like a scavenger hunt for a clean toilet seat. I’ve had my fair share of frustrating experiences, and while it’s not a life-or-death issue, it’s certainly an annoyance worth mentioning. Honestly, finding pee on the seat is just plain gross and, quite frankly, beneath us as women. But I was raised to believe that if you’re going to complain, you should also suggest a solution. So, here it goes.
What if we all just decided to sit down on public toilets? Shocking idea, right? (Yes, I’m looking at you, squatters!)
I totally get the anxiety of making contact with a seat that someone else has just used. The thought of sharing dead skin cells with a stranger is enough to make anyone cringe. And let’s be real—who wants to risk sitting in someone else’s pee? There’s definitely a special place in hell for those who tease babies and kick puppies, where they have to repeatedly sit in puddles of urine.
If you’re squatting to avoid touching the seat, you might think you’re being smart, but in reality, you’re making things worse. Your squatting is contributing to the problem. When you choose to squat, you’re the one who ends up spraying pee everywhere, ruining the experience for the next person.
The thing is, when we squat, we can’t really control where our urine goes. That’s why toilet seats were invented in the first place! Unlike men, who have a built-in aiming device, women’s anatomy means that when we squat, our pee can go in every direction but the toilet. It could land on our clothes, shoes, or even the floor—and yes, it will definitely get on the seat.
Plus, squatting is a workout. Who wants to mix exercise with a bathroom break? And don’t even mention trying to do a number two while in that position; the thought alone is enough to make anyone uncomfortable.
So, to my fellow squatters: if you walk into a stall with a clean toilet seat and choose to squat, you’re ruining it for everyone else. You’re making the job of the cleaning staff even more disgusting than it already is. Why create a mess just because you’re afraid to sit down? Seriously! When you squat and leave a mess, everyone else has to either find another stall, clean up after you, or squat as well—all of which are terrible options.
This is why we need to come together and agree to sit down. And I mean all of us—this is a collective effort, like herd immunity for public toilets. If we can rely on each other to keep the seats clean, it’ll be so much easier to take that leap of faith and sit down. By sitting, we not only avoid the worry of sitting in someone else’s pee, but we also prevent making a mess ourselves. It’s a win-win situation, and a great show of feminine solidarity!
So, what do you say, fellow restroom-goers? Let’s make this happen—I’ve got a kid who needs to use the bathroom!
P.S. Just a friendly reminder that this solution doesn’t apply to porta-potties. In those situations, you should avoid sitting down at all costs, even if it means you might end up with a little mess on yourself.
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In summary, let’s all agree to sit down on public toilets to keep them clean and comfortable for everyone. It’s time for us to take responsibility and show some solidarity in the restroom!