I’m Messing Up My Kids For Life, And You Know What? I’m Fine With That

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You know what? I’m messing up my kids for life. And honestly, I’m mostly okay with it.

Now, don’t get me wrong—I never set out to be that parent. But the truth is, I’ve come to terms with the fact that I might be doing more things wrong than right. It’s practically a rite of passage for every parent to screw up their kids in some way, right? (Except for my dad, of course. If you’re reading this, I’m definitely not referring to you! And when you call to ask about it, trust me, I really meant it.)

I know I’m falling short in some areas, and you know what? That’s alright. I’ve embraced it. Rather than setting up a college fund, maybe we should just start a therapy savings account—it’ll probably come in handy.

Formula Feeding and Screen Time

Take my youngest, for example. He’s had formula—yes, the very same stuff that’s practically from the Devil’s kitchen. Sure, it probably saved his life, but still, it’s formula we’re talking about here.

Both of my kids watch TV. I won’t spill the exact amount—some will think it’s nothing, while others will gasp in horror at how much screen time I allow. Let’s just say that my oldest can’t stop singing the jingles from Daniel Tiger, and I’m pretty sure those catchy tunes will be stuck in their heads for the next two decades.

Honestly, I’m not even a huge fan of TV. I’ve read all the articles about how detrimental it is for kids, and I totally agree with them. Then I let them watch it anyway. I’ve even strapped them into their high chairs, turned on Daniel Tiger, and snuck off for a shower. At least it’s PBS, right?

The Vegetable Battle

And don’t even get me started on vegetables. Before having kids, I read all the right books. The advice was crystal clear: eat veggies while pregnant, nurse with them, and expose your little ones to a new vegetable 20 times. Somehow, I gave up around the 14th try, and the last time my kids had a non-potato vegetable was during Thanksgiving when they only ate the pie crust.

My kids haven’t even come across a foreign language yet—unless you count the French I picked up in college, or more accurately, on the school bus. Like typical boys, they’re into all things that go “vroom,” so if you hear them yelling “Truck!” or “Ship!” that’s why. I promise.

The Guilt of Parenting

I’ve read all those clickbait articles titled “Parenting: You’re Doing It Wrong.” I can’t help myself; I’m drawn to the latest research on how I’m failing my kids, especially regarding working versus staying at home. I’ve done both, so my kids are stuck with the consequences of being both neglected and smothered. Sorry, kiddos.

It’s not that I don’t want to improve. I read parenting articles (on my phone, while my kids are around) and mentally note all the ways I’m failing them. Then I try to do better for about 20 minutes. I wish I could reduce their TV time, get them to eat more veggies, and raise them to be well-adjusted geniuses. But honestly, I can’t seem to pull it off. Even with all this guilt, I still haven’t bought them a single educational toy made from organic kale.

Embracing Imperfection

But if these little slip-ups are what ruins my kids for life, I’m okay with that. We all mess up somehow, and I really hope this is the worst of it. When my kids call me in 20 years to complain about how I ruined their lives, I hope it’s because I let them watch one too many episodes of Daniel Tiger, and they still have that “When You Have to Go Potty, Stop and Go Right Away!” song stuck in their heads. I know I will.

They can list the million ways I messed up, and I know there will be plenty more as they grow. It’s just part of the ride. None of us are perfect at parenting.

But you know what? I excel at one thing: I love them deeply. I love them with all the warmth of a thousand suns. They are my everything.

So if a bit too much TV and not enough greens is the worst I do, I’m totally fine with that. They will always know they are loved. And if letting go of some of that worry gives me a little more space in my heart to love them, I’ll take that route every single time.

In the end, isn’t love what truly matters?

Summary

This article reflects on the relatable struggles of parenting, acknowledging the imperfections and mistakes made along the way. The author embraces the idea that while they may not be the perfect parent, their love for their children is unwavering. The author humorously shares their experiences with formula feeding, screen time, and the battle over vegetables, all while recognizing that all parents face their own challenges.