When it comes to euphemisms for male masturbation, the options are practically endless: “jerking off,” “whacking off,” “spanking the monkey,” and many more. I stumbled upon a website that had over a thousand terms for the male solo act! But when I tried to think of phrases for female masturbation, there was a noticeable silence. I couldn’t come up with even one, and the longest list I found only had about 80 entries, most of which were unfamiliar to me. One of my favorites? “Impeaching bush.” The weirdest? “Polishing a bald man in a canoe.” Seriously, why would I be polishing a bald man when I’m trying to enjoy some alone time?
So why is there such a stark contrast? Why is it so easy for men to talk about their own pleasure while women seem to struggle? In our culture, it’s common for men to be portrayed as the active participants in sexuality, while women are often seen as passive objects. It’s like a basic rule of sexual politics: men are the aggressors, and women are expected to play defense. If a woman takes the initiative, she’s labeled as “aggressive” or “needy,” while men are simply being themselves.
And this dynamic extends to how we talk about sex. For parents out there, have you noticed the difference in how you discuss these topics with your daughters compared to your sons? While you might caution your sons about unwanted pregnancies, your conversations with your daughters likely focus on protecting their purity from those predatory boys. We inadvertently teach girls that their sexuality is something to guard rather than embrace.
Personally, I consider myself pretty comfortable with my sexuality. I’m not shy about expressing what I want to my partner. Yet, when it comes to discussing sex with my girlfriends, I realize we rarely delve into topics like masturbation. In fact, I can only recall one conversation about it in the last 15 years! It’s a bit shocking, isn’t it?
Now, I can hear you thinking, “But what about women like Zoe and Mia in the media who talk openly about sex?” While it’s true that figures like them are starting vital conversations, their very openness often sets them apart, making their experiences noteworthy or even controversial. Society tends to view women who openly enjoy sex as either bold or deviant, while men are simply considered “normal.” This double standard can normalize harmful behaviors, from casual sexual dialogues to more serious issues.
To break the silence and promote healthy dialogue about female self-pleasure, let’s get creative with some euphemisms for women enjoying themselves. Here are a few playful suggestions:
- Jilling off
- Womansplaining
- Menage a moi
- Paddling the pink canoe
- Fanning the fur
- Rubbing one in
- Diddling the skittle
Let’s start using these phrases and encouraging open conversations about female masturbation. After all, it’s time to normalize women embracing their sexuality.
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In summary, while male masturbation has a plethora of terms, female masturbation remains shrouded in silence. By bringing light to this subject, we can challenge societal norms and encourage healthier discussions about sexuality.