There’s No “We” in Pregnancy

home insemination Kit

The other night, I overheard a guy enthusiastically proclaim, “We are pregnant.” I felt my blood pressure rise. My cheeks flushed, and I could feel a wave of heat wash over me—like a flashback to all the times I had heard those words during my own pregnancy. For me, there’s no “we” in pregnancy.

Now, I mean no offense to those who genuinely feel that their partner shares the pregnancy experience and that it’s a wonderful journey they embark on together. I’ll admit, I’m a bit envious. I wish I could hear that word without feeling a rush of frustration, especially since I know that stress isn’t good for me or my baby. But the feelings are just too strong to ignore.

Honestly, when was the last time a woman told her friends, “We’re getting a vasectomy” when her partner is heading in for the procedure? Exactly. It doesn’t happen. He’s getting the snip; they’re not having any more kids.

This all started one evening at dinner when my partner, Mark, casually mentioned that he told his work buddies, “We are pregnant.” This was around the time my clothes stopped fitting—not in that adorable pregnancy way, but in a “my pants are screaming for help” kind of way. I could barely get my socks on, was making frequent pit stops to vomit, and let’s not even talk about the cellulite situation.

So, as I sat there eating my mac and cheese (the only thing I could stomach three times a week), I calmly told Mark that the only “we” in our pregnancy was when we made the baby. He laughed, probably thinking I was joking.

But then, over the next several months, he kept saying “we” again and again. Depending on my hormones and how swollen my feet were at that moment, my reactions varied from snarky comments to throwing objects, and even to tears.

Here are just ten reasons why the phrase “we are pregnant” doesn’t quite fit:

1. It wasn’t “we” who had to give up alcohol. That was all me. He enjoyed being the designated driver for ten months.
2. “We” didn’t cry when someone polished off the last drumstick in the freezer. Yep, that was all me.
3. Six months in, “we” didn’t split the crotch of my favorite pajama pants. That was definitely me.
4. “We” didn’t spend sleepless nights tossing and turning or running to the bathroom fifteen times from 10 PM to 7 AM. That was me!
5. “We” didn’t endure those invasive check-ups where the doctor misleadingly said, “You’ll feel a little pressure.” No, that was just me. (Seriously, doctors, there’s a huge difference!)
6. “We” didn’t go from freezing to sweating in an instant.
7. “We” didn’t dread social outings due to unpredictable gas (at least not from pregnancy).
8. “We” didn’t experience a birth that looked like something out of a horror film. That was my experience; he just got to watch!
9. “We” didn’t push a watermelon-sized baby out of an area that used to be grape-sized. That was me.
10. And, after everything was said and done, “we” didn’t have our once lovely breasts shrink to what looks like little raisins. Again, that was all me.

Sure, we now have a beautiful baby together, but I was the one who was pregnant!

For more information on pregnancy and home insemination, check out this excellent resource from Women’s Health. And if you’re interested in learning about home insemination kits, visit CryoBaby. You can also read more on this topic in our advertiser disclosure.

In conclusion, while the journey of pregnancy is undeniably a shared experience in many ways, the physical and emotional challenges are often felt by the woman alone. So, let’s keep the “we” where it truly belongs—at the moment of conception.