20 Messages My Tween Daughter May Be Trying to Convey

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Navigating the world of parenting a tween girl can be quite the adventure, filled with ups, downs, and lots of eye rolls. Most days, I find myself repeating the same phrases like a broken record, only to be met with dramatic sighs and exaggerated expressions. When she gets home from school, I hold my breath, trying to read her mood before speaking.

Lately, she’s been glued to her iPad, headphones on, so close to the screen that I worry she might walk into walls. Just the other day, she bumped into my husband in the hallway, claiming, “I didn’t see you!” despite his animated waving and calling out to her.

Now, she’s taken to calling me “Mother,” skipping over the more casual “Mom.” Most of the time, when I manage to get a response, it’s a curt “I know, Mother,” often as I’m still talking. I like to think she’s honing her psychic abilities, perhaps destined for a career in fortune telling or acting!

My attempts to help her grow into a responsible adult usually involve her reiterating “I know, Mother,” and I’ve come to realize that there’s a lot more beneath the surface of those words. Here’s what she might actually be saying:

1. I’m smarter than you think.
2. You’re out of touch.
3. I wasn’t listening, so I’m lost.
4. I’m trying to score points for a sleepover with my friend.
5. Your advice sounds like just noise to me.
6. I feel deprived compared to my friends who have everything.
7. I didn’t clean my room; I just hid everything in a box.
8. I’m ignoring your request, but maybe I’ll do it if I feel like it.
9. Your concern is unnecessary.
10. I’m confused about what you mean.
11. You just don’t get it.
12. I feel totally isolated.
13. You’re so cringe.
14. If I do this, can I get something in return?
15. I’m too exhausted from binge-watching to do anything else right now.
16. I promise I don’t have any homework.
17. I have no idea what you’re on about.
18. I’m feeling down.
19. I’m overwhelmed.
20. Deep down, I do love you.

It feels like just yesterday she would cling to me, eager to share her thoughts and dreams. Now, it’s challenging to connect with her, but I hold on to hope that, amid all the eye-rolling, she still cares. If I listen closely enough, I believe I can still hear that love shining through.

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Summary

Parenting a tween girl is a mix of frustration and fleeting moments of connection. While the communication often feels one-sided, there’s a deeper layer of meaning behind her words that reflects her growth and challenges.