There’s No “We” in Pregnancy: A Personal Take

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The other night, I overheard a guy proclaim, “We are pregnant,” and I could feel my blood pressure rise. My face flushed, and I started to sweat. It took me back to all the times I’d heard “we” and “our” during my own pregnancy. For me, there was no “we” in that experience.

Now, I mean no offense to couples who genuinely feel they share the pregnancy journey—maybe it’s a beautiful, unified experience for them. Honestly, I’m a bit envious. I wish the word “we” didn’t send me spiraling, especially since I’m sure my cortisol levels shot up when I heard it, which can’t be good for me or my baby. But my feelings are what they are.

Think about it: does a woman ever say to her friends, “We’re getting a vasectomy” when her partner is going in for the big snip? Of course not! He’s the one getting the procedure; it’s not a joint venture in child prevention.

This whole saga began at dinner one night when my partner, Mark, proudly announced he had told his colleagues, “We are pregnant.” This was around the time my clothes began to fit uncomfortably (not in the cute baby bump way, but more like the “I just finished a buffet” kind of way), my socks were cutting off circulation, and I was making frequent pit stops to hurl. So, while chowing down on my Velveeta mac and cheese (which was my go-to meal three times a week), I told Mark that the only “we” in our pregnancy was when we decided to conceive. He chuckled, probably thinking I was joking.

But over the following months, the word “we” came up again and again! Depending on my hormones and how swollen my feet were at the time, my reactions ranged from sarcastic remarks to throwing objects and, at times, full-blown tears.

Here are just 10 reasons why “we are pregnant” simply doesn’t apply:

1. It wasn’t “WE” who had to abstain from alcohol. I was the designated driver for 10 long months.
2. WE didn’t cry over the last drumstick in the freezer. That was all me.
3. Six months in, WE didn’t split the crotch of my favorite pajamas. Yep, that was me.
4. WE didn’t toss and turn all night or make 15 bathroom trips between 10 PM and 7 AM. That was all me!
5. WE didn’t endure those invasive exams where the doctor said, “You’ll feel a little pressure.” Really? There’s a big difference between pressure and a hand up to the elbow!
6. WE didn’t experience the hot flashes and chills that turned me into a sweaty mess.
7. WE didn’t dread social gatherings due to unpredictable gas (well, not pregnancy-related gas, anyway…).
8. WE didn’t have a birth experience that could rival a scene from the Exorcist. I lived through that; he just watched.
9. WE didn’t push out something the size of a watermelon from an opening that once was the size of a grape.
10. And we definitely didn’t watch my once-decent breasts transform into what looked like little raisonettes. That’s all me.

Now, we have a baby together—but I was the one who was pregnant!

If you want to dive deeper into the world of home insemination and pregnancy, check out this blog post for more insights. For those looking to boost fertility, this resource is a fantastic option. The CDC also offers excellent information on pregnancy and home insemination at this link.

In summary, while many couples may share the joys and challenges of pregnancy, it’s often the woman who bears the brunt of the experience. So the next time you hear “we are pregnant,” just remember: the journey is often hers alone.