My Daughter’s Unique Look Deserves Celebration, Not Sympathy

Alright, everyone, gather ’round for a little heart-to-heart.

My baby girl, Lily, has a prominent facial birthmark known as a capillary hemangioma. To put it in perspective, it’s roughly the size of a small lemon. Guess what? It’s often the first thing people notice about her—and I know this because it’s usually the first thing they mention.

I try to remind myself that most people mean well. I don’t get upset over the occasional lingering glance. After all, it’s only natural to do a double take when you spot something unique. But here’s where I think we can all use a little education.

Understanding Capillary Hemangiomas

So, let’s break it down! A capillary hemangioma is essentially a type of birthmark, sometimes called a “strawberry.” It’s an overgrowth of blood vessels that tends to fade away over time. For us, any potential complications were ruled out, and Lily’s hemangioma is purely cosmetic. We keep an eye on it to ensure it doesn’t affect her vision, and she takes a daily medication to manage its growth during this phase. The good news? It should vanish completely by the time she starts kindergarten.

Insights from a Parent

I’ve heard a wide range of comments from family, friends, and even strangers. After much reflection, I’d love to share some insight as a parent. This might resonate with anyone who has a child who looks a bit different.

Let’s be clear: we don’t need to discuss her birthmark every time you see her. Her dad, brother, and I see beyond the hemangioma. Lily is just Lily, and it’s part of her charm. It doesn’t need to be the topic of constant conversation. Your opinions on whether it’s “better” or “worse” don’t matter. It’s simply her appearance, and that’s perfectly fine. She’s special and lovely, and I’d rather chat about her latest milestones, her infectious giggle, or those big, beautiful eyes.

She’s not in pain or unwell; she just has a distinctive feature. The most common comments I hear are along the lines of “I hope that fades soon,” or “Bless her heart.” The questions about when it will disappear are frequent, and I’ve even heard remarks like, “Make sure to show her good side,” or, “She’d be so pretty otherwise.”

Shifting Our Focus

Instead of wishing it away, how about praying she becomes a confident little girl who loves herself, no matter her appearance? Hope that the stream of comments from family, friends, and strangers stops before she’s old enough to notice and wonder why everyone seems so concerned.

So let’s shift our focus. Imagine if I approached you and loudly asked, “What’s that on your baby’s ____?” or, “I’ll pray that your child’s [insert unique trait] goes away.” Just think about how that might feel. It’s disheartening when people focus so much on something superficial about our daughter.

Let’s save the pity. She’s a healthy girl, and we are truly lucky. Her birthmark is no more significant than a freckle. It doesn’t need to be acknowledged, and it certainly doesn’t need to be wished away.

There’s no “good side” for family photos; I don’t edit her hemangioma in pictures. Her whole face is my darling Lily, and it’s perfect just the way it is.

Additional Resources

By the way, if you’re interested in learning more about home insemination, check out this insightful post on home insemination kits. For those looking for more resources, Hopkins Medicine is an excellent guide for pregnancy and home insemination. And if you’re curious about the ins and outs of this topic, don’t forget to read our other blog post on advertiser disclosure.

Summary

My daughter Lily has a prominent birthmark called a capillary hemangioma, and while it’s noticeable, it’s just a part of who she is. Instead of pitying her or wishing it away, we should embrace her uniqueness and focus on what truly matters—her personality and achievements. Let’s celebrate our children for who they are, not just how they look.