Why Do Men Cheat? (And How You Can Handle It)

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I can’t count how many times I’ve witnessed heartbroken women throw their hands up in despair, lamenting, “If he was unhappy, why didn’t he just leave?” This question assumes one critical thing: that he was unhappy. More specifically, that his unhappiness stemmed from you.

To complicate matters, well-meaning friends often echo this sentiment, believing they’re supporting you. But in reality, they’re only reinforcing the misguided notion that you’re somehow inadequate—too flawed, too dull, or too unlovable to keep your partner committed.

But what if I told you that your partner’s infidelity had nothing to do with you? Seriously. No matter if you occasionally nagged him, gained a few pounds, or weren’t always in the mood—none of that matters. A confident, self-assured man would address any relationship issues openly. If that wasn’t effective, he would simply move on. Yet he didn’t. Why? Because he likely wasn’t dissatisfied with you.

Sure, if caught, he might dredge up an old mistake you made years ago to justify his actions. That’s just panic talking. The reality is, he took extensive measures to hide his affair from you. Leaving and enjoying the single life would have been the easier route.

What Drives Men to Cheat?

So, what drives men to cheat? It often boils down to self-esteem and the craving for external validation. You’ve probably told him he’s amazing a million times. You’ve agreed that his boss is a jerk and he deserves better pay. You’ve complimented his looks, humor, and everything else under the sun.

But here’s the kicker: this isn’t about you. When it comes to boosting his self-esteem, he’s not going to find it in your words. Why? Because he harbors his own doubts—if you’re with him, how could he possibly believe you know what’s good for him? He needs validation from others to feel worthy.

Does this make cheating acceptable? Absolutely not. We all bear responsibility for our actions, and many of us grapple with self-esteem issues. Those who are mature and self-aware work on their problems instead of lazily seeking validation from others. Who really finds a lazy partner attractive, anyway?

What Can You Do?

So, what can you do if you find yourself in this situation? You have two choices:

1. Forgive him, move on, and stay.
2. Recognize your worth and seek a partner who is more mature and confident. And if that means being single for a while, so be it. It’s far better than settling for someone who can’t appreciate you.

I personally lean towards the second option, but the choice is ultimately yours. Just remember to detach love from the decision-making process. Sometimes, we find ourselves infatuated with the wrong people and confuse love with something meaningful. More often than not, love can be utterly irrational.

Let yourself grieve if you need to. Choose to stay or go; the decision is yours. But please, don’t torment yourself with the question: “If he wasn’t happy, why didn’t he just leave?”

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In Summary

Understanding why men cheat is crucial in navigating these troubled waters. The reasons often stem from their insecurities rather than your worthiness. Choose wisely when it comes to your future and remember your own value.