A Note to the Dad at Drop-Off

home insemination Kit

Hey there! I realize we’ve never exchanged a proper greeting at drop-off, the way I do with the other moms. Honestly, I typically don’t say hello to unfamiliar men. I mean, just look at me: hair that’s more “I just rolled out of bed” than “put together,” bags under my eyes that could fit a week’s worth of groceries, and let’s not even talk about my unbrushed teeth. I wouldn’t want to give the wrong impression, you know?

But I see you. I notice you walking your little girl to school every day, her bright pink backpack bouncing with each step. I hear you remind her to tuck her cold hands into her jacket pockets, and it brings a smile to my face because I told my son the same thing just this morning. I watch you apply chapstick to her lips and ask for a kiss before sending her off into the world. You assure her that you’ll be waiting for her after school, and as she walks inside, you linger for a moment, heart full as you watch her go. Then, once she’s safely in school, you turn around and head home.

I often wonder what your day looks like after drop-off. Are you running a multimillion-dollar business from home? Facing rush hour traffic to get to an office? Scouring the internet for adorable after-school snacks or doing the grocery shopping? Do you tidy up the house—making beds, washing breakfast dishes, starting laundry? Or maybe you indulge in a nap, scrolling through Facebook with a cup of coffee in hand?

I’m curious if you ever find it challenging being a man in what feels like a “woman’s world.” Are there dad meet-up groups at the park? Do the moms include you in their chit-chat, or do they keep their circle tight? Is there a “Dads’ Day Out” at your church? Have you ever been invited to a DOPs (Dads of Preschoolers) group? When you’re out shopping, do you ever find yourself changing your baby’s diaper on a bathroom floor because there’s no changing table? Do you question your professional skills and financial future while being a stay-at-home dad?

I’ll probably never ask you these things—after all, it’s not my business, and let’s face it, I wouldn’t want you to experience my morning breath!

But here’s what I do know: society often tries to convince us that we’re so different. As a woman, I’m expected to be the nurturing one, but I see the joy in your daughter’s eyes when she looks at you. I know you’re just as capable as any woman of making her feel cherished. I notice your wedding band and can’t help but wonder if your wife is the main breadwinner. She’s just as competent and fierce in the workforce as any man.

You might be bigger and stronger, yet you’re also the gentle storyteller at bedtime. I might be softer and leaner, but those kids know they better be up the stairs by the time I reach fifteen!

As a woman, I often don’t feel like the perfect mom I thought I would be. Do you, too, ever question if you’re living up to your “role” as a father while being the primary caregiver? Is this dad life what you envisioned?

We may never get the chance for a deep conversation before the school bell rings, but just know this: I see you, I appreciate you, and I know your little girl adores her daddy.

And if you’re interested in more insights on parenting or home insemination, check out some of our other blog posts, like this one here.

Summary

This letter reflects on the silent bond between a mother and a father at school drop-off, addressing the shared experiences of parenting, societal expectations, and the unique role of fathers. It acknowledges the father’s nurturing side while questioning the stereotypes surrounding parenting roles.