15 Apologies I’d Like to Hear from My Toddler

home insemination Kit

So, my little one is almost 2, and let’s be real: toddlers are the absolute worst roommates. While many parents lament how tough it is to apologize to their kids, I’m over here wishing my toddler would acknowledge the chaos she brings to our lives. If she ever has an epiphany about her behavior and decides to make amends, here’s what I’d love to hear:

1. I’m sorry for munching on three bananas and then stashing them under the couch. That was pretty inconsiderate, and frankly, it doesn’t help our grocery bill. I hope you’ll still help with my future college expenses.
2. Remember when I drenched Mom’s new laptop with water and thought it was hilarious? That was a total jerk move, and it cost you a fortune. I thought water was a good idea, but boy was I wrong. Can you forgive me?
3. I’m sorry for ruining your romantic evenings.
4. Last month, when I decided to poop in the tub, and while you were cleaning it up, I took an interest in the plunger and tried to taste it… that was a bit much. I can only imagine how frustrating that was for you. I promise to start using the toilet. Tomorrow. For sure.
5. I regret pulling your underwear out of the drawer and wearing it on my head while the neighbors were over. That was awkward, and now they probably think your boxer shorts are a fashion statement.
6. You know how I scream every time I see a Popsicle? Wow, that must be so annoying. I just really want one, but I’ll work on saying please instead.
7. Sometimes I leave booger stains on your jeans. I’m sorry for that. I’ll start using tissues from now on.
8. I vow to never, ever take my pants off in public again.
9. The next time you sit on the couch, I promise not to jump on you. I just get so excited sometimes. I guess that’s why I don’t have a younger sibling yet.
10. Remember when I tossed your wallet in the trash? It seemed funny at the time, but it wasn’t. I owe you a drink.
11. I feel bad for keeping you up all night because I couldn’t settle down. That was really inconsiderate, especially since you had to work while I napped all day. I’ll try to do better.
12. I apologize for that time I accidentally threw up in your mouth.
13. Breaking your glasses with a toy saw and making you go without for over a week was not cool. It was a funny moment for me, but looking back, I realize it was a total jerk thing to do.
14. I can’t promise I’ll stop having accidents, but I can agree to be less difficult during diaper changes. I’ll stop crying, wiggling, and trying to eat the diaper. Let’s move forward together!
15. I vow to never poke you in the eye again when you try to hug me. Love you, Dad.

Are these apologies too much to ask? Sadly, yes. But a parent can dream, right?

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Summary

Toddlers are notorious for their chaotic behavior, and while parents often find themselves apologizing, it would be refreshing to hear some heartfelt apologies from their little ones. From mishaps with the laptop to public wardrobe malfunctions, these imagined apologies highlight the humorous challenges of parenting a toddler.