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The “Let Them Bleed” Approach to Parenting
Oh, the drama! A mother shrieks, “Sweetie, are you alright? Did that hurt? What hurts?” as her little girl bursts into tears after a tumble. In what should have been a minor scrape, the situation escalates to a near-emergency warranting a 911 call. Scooping up her daughter, the mother continues to shower her with reassurances of magic mommy kisses that will erase all pain. As they stroll into the store, I lock eyes with the little girl, and I can almost hear her thoughts: “I’ve got her wrapped around my finger.”
Okay, that may be a bit extreme, but you can bet that little one knew how to play that situation to her advantage, and her mom fell right into the trap. Trust me, I’ve seen my kids pull similar stunts.
We live in a society gripped by fear—fear of discomfort, fear of making mistakes, fear of the unknown. Our children are caught in the crossfire. In our quest to shield them from every possible harm, we’ve birthed a generation of “helicopter parents” and kids who struggle to think for themselves.
I grew up in the ‘70s—a time when kids had the freedom to roam. At just six years old, I would wander the woods behind my house for hours, sometimes with my brother, sometimes solo. My parents were great, but by today’s standards, they might’ve been arrested for child neglect. It seems our fear began when everyone started getting trophies just for showing up, and the word “no” vanished from our parenting lexicon. Now, a parent who dares to let their child play unsupervised is seen as reckless.
Take my experience—my kids, aged 4 and 6, were having a good time scribbling on the driveway with chalk. I dashed inside for a moment, instructing them to stay put and to come find me if anything went wrong. Less than five minutes later, a passerby expressed concern about my “unattended” children, who were right where I’d left them, drawing a picture of a boat.
Today, if you’re not hovering over your child at the park, waiting to catch them if they trip, you’re perceived as a negligent parent. If your kids ride just a bit ahead of you, you’re labeled irresponsible. If your eyes aren’t glued to them every waking moment, you’re failing as a parent.
I understand that times have changed. We live in a different world, but not so different that we should wrap our kids in bubble wrap. Children learn to be autonomous and critical thinkers by facing uncomfortable situations. But how will they develop resilience if they’re always sheltered?
Love your kids, but allow them to experience a little pain along the way. Let them fail, let them discover how to navigate life when they think no one is watching. They will appreciate it in the long run.
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In summary, while it’s natural to want to protect our children, it’s crucial to let them learn from their experiences. A little scrape here and there can teach them resilience, independence, and how to thrive in a world that isn’t always safe.