Pregnancy is no walk in the park. Your emotions are all over the place as your body undergoes a plethora of changes. One moment, you’re relishing that unexpected donut from the gas station attendant—complete with a side of guilt about your caffeine intake. The next, you’ve forgotten your coffee in the car because, well, that’s just how it goes.
As you navigate long workdays filled with unsolicited advice and belly rubs (seriously, keep your hands to yourself), you’re bombarded with comments about how “the baby drinks what you drink.” So, there you are, desperately trying to get a soda from a machine that’s conveniently out of order. You trudge through the day, sleep-deprived and caffeine-less, only to have someone suggest you’re being overly emotional.
By the time your doctor’s appointment rolls around, you hope for some empathy and understanding. After all, if anyone should treat a pregnant woman with respect, it’s the doctor who’s getting paid to do just that (not to mention the awesome husband who’s not part of this rant). You sit down and mention the strange pain in your stomach, only to be met with a scoff and a look that says you’ve just uttered the most ridiculous thing he’s ever heard. He reminds you that pregnancy comes with discomfort, leaving you feeling ashamed for even expressing your concerns.
At your next visit, when he asks how you’re feeling, your pain has worsened, but fear of being dismissed again makes you hesitate. However, your instincts kick in—what if there’s something wrong with the baby? You muster the courage to explain that your stomach pain feels more like contractions. He brushes it off, saying, “You’ll know when you’re in labor,” leaving you feeling like a wimp for worrying.
On your way home, you decide to keep quiet about the pain. After all, it’s your first pregnancy, and clearly, the doc isn’t worried—so why should you be? But right before your next appointment, the pain intensifies to a level that brings you to tears. This must be labor, you think.
When you finally see the doctor, you explain it’s the worst pain you’ve ever experienced. He grudgingly decides to send you to labor and delivery for monitoring, but when the monitor shows you’re not in labor, you’re sent home with a condescending, “You’re just pregnant; it’s uncomfortable.”
Friends and family tell you, “Pregnancy isn’t that bad!” and you find yourself battling an internal dialogue: “This is it—I’m in labor!” vs. “Maybe I’m just being dramatic.” The cycle repeats itself every few days, and now you’re 40 weeks along with an OB who won’t check for dilation and loves to serve guilt for asking questions. Enough is enough—maybe it’s not all in your head; maybe he’s just a jerk.
So, I broke up with my OB at 40 weeks, and you can too. If your doctor isn’t providing the reassurance you need, or if they continually dismiss your concerns, it’s time to walk away. Whether you’re 20 weeks or 40, you and your baby deserve quality care.
After asking to see another OB within the same practice and being told I was too far along, I reached out to a competitor—who happily agreed to take me on! Just two days later, I returned to labor and delivery, still battling that same pain. This time, however, I was greeted with kindness and understanding. The new doctor acknowledged my pain and promised to keep me comfortable. It felt like a breath of fresh air.
Eventually, after 26 hours, I held my beautiful baby girl for the first time. A few weeks later, I was back at that hospital—diagnosed with severe health issues—realizing that my previous OB had dismissed my high liver enzymes as just a side effect of pregnancy. Oh, how I wish he could have experienced just one day of my discomfort.
Breaking up with my OB was the best decision I ever made. It’s never too late to demand the care you deserve. So go ahead, momma—you do you, and forget the rest. For more on this topic, check out this informative article on intracervical insemination, or explore what Make a Mom has to offer. For a deeper dive into fertility, visit Science Daily.
In summary, pregnancy can be an emotional rollercoaster, especially when dealing with a dismissive doctor. Your health and comfort matter, so don’t hesitate to seek the care you deserve, no matter how far along you are.