How to Tell If You’re a New Mom in Public

home insemination Kit

Being a new mom is no small feat. No matter if it’s your first or your fifth, the days and nights following your little one’s arrival can feel like a chaotic blend of tears, giggles, and endless diaper changes. While lounging in your pajamas and gazing at your baby has its charm, it’s wise to step outside every now and then. Babies are only portable and immobile for a short while, so make the most of this time! Plus, the veteran moms are itching to share their unsolicited advice with you—don’t worry, we’ll find you!

1. You could easily rival a Sherpa with the mountain of baby gear you carry. Friends are often kept waiting as you juggle what looks like an entire nursery on your back.
2. You’re the early bird at the Target parking lot, claiming your spot before the sun even rises.
3. You can’t bring yourself to tackle daunting tasks like trimming your baby’s nails, taking their temperature in the most intimate of ways, or dressing them in anything other than the softest Pima cotton washed in Dreft and dried with fairy whispers.
4. You’ve spent your whole morning trying to puree a rutabaga and will launch into a detailed monologue about the struggle if anyone asks—maintaining intense eye contact all the while. We’re not sure if you’re awake or just staring vacantly.
5. You have a constant, unwavering gaze fixed on your baby, convinced that if you look away, they’ll simply vanish.
6. Your social media feeds are flooded with photos and videos of your child. If there’s an app for sharing, you’re on it—just be sure to like everything if you want to stay in your good graces.
7. You remind us of our friend Mike, who tends to zone out and mumble half-formed thoughts after a few drinks.
8. Every shirt in your closet bears a mysterious stain on the right shoulder, possibly from applesauce, breast milk, yogurt, or who knows what else.
9. You’re literally holding a newborn.
10. You have no qualms about discussing your episiotomy, chapped nipples, and your baby’s poop consistency with anyone who asks.
11. You’ll often be seen at the local zoo, enthusiastically pointing out animals to your baby. We’ll spare you the awkward reminder that they can’t actually see them yet. Nobody wants to face the wrath of a sleep-deprived new mom.
12. If we ever stop moving for too long, you instinctively try to swaddle us—yes, even our dog!
13. You might find a rogue Cheerio in your cleavage and eat it without a second thought.
14. Even when your baby isn’t with you, you can be spotted gently rocking back and forth in the grocery store checkout line.
15. When all else fails, we can find you from behind, proudly wearing your superhero cape—because yes, you’ve got this, mama.

For even more insights on the journey of parenting, check out this blog post and learn about invaluable resources on fertility and home insemination at Science Daily. If you’re looking to explore home insemination options, Make a Mom has some great kits to get you started!

Summary:

Being a new mom is a unique experience filled with challenges, joys, and some humorous realities. From the gear you carry to the candid conversations you have, these signs illustrate the journey of motherhood in public. Whether you’re navigating diaper changes or sharing your baby’s milestones online, embrace the chaos and enjoy this fleeting phase!