It Doesn’t Mean You’re a Terrible Mom If Your Kids Are Constantly Sick

home insemination Kit

The first time it happened was just after Christmas. I decided to introduce my 9-month-old son, Max, to tofu at a local Asian restaurant. After we got home, he napped peacefully, or so I thought. An hour later, I heard him screaming and gagging. What followed was a dramatic episode of vomiting that led to severe dehydration. The doctor assured me it was just a flu going around.

Fast forward six weeks, and we tried the tofu again. This time, we ended up in the ER, and my precious half-Korean baby was diagnosed with a soy allergy. The guilt was overwhelming; I had inadvertently caused him so much distress. Watching him suffer at such a young age was heart-wrenching, but sadly, this was just the beginning of our health saga.

I’ve heard stories of moms whose kids barely got sick until they were two years old or who had just one cold in their entire first year. Seriously? That was definitely not our reality. While I suspected Max’s food allergy contributed to his frequent illnesses, it probably wasn’t the only factor. I knew my little one had been through a lot of germs.

Now, I might be a bit biased, but I don’t think Max is an unusually dirty child. Sure, he occasionally touches the toilet seat or licks the shopping cart at the store (yikes!), but isn’t that just par for the course with toddlers?

As his second birthday approached, his frequency of illness skyrocketed compared to his peers. Within a mere six months (during which I was also pregnant with our second child), he suffered from pneumonia, a UTI, hand, foot, and mouth disease, numerous colds, and at least two bouts of stomach flu. It seemed like he was perpetually sprawled out on the couch, moaning and groaning.

Seeing him like this was unbearable, especially after we spent the first 18 months navigating his allergies and discovering that soy lurked in nearly everything packaged. I began to feel an overwhelming guilt, convinced I was responsible for his ongoing health issues. Living in a densely populated area of Los Angeles had me worrying about air quality; I questioned whether I was washing his hands enough or if he was eating healthily enough. Should I be using essential oils? Cutting out grains? Feeding him more “phytonutrients”?

I faced the well-meaning but frustrating comments from friends and family who remarked how my kids (now including my second little germ magnet) were “always sick.” Suggestions poured in—everything from vitamins and supplements to better cart sanitizing methods at the grocery store (seriously, it’s not like my kid was licking every surface!). Some friends even hinted that my home might be too clean after I posted about our ongoing illness saga. Right, because that was definitely the culprit.

I spent countless hours Googling for answers, purchasing overpriced “immunity” products from health stores, and forcing my kids to drink all sorts of questionable concoctions in search of a miracle. For a moment, it seemed like some of these strategies worked, but before long, another cold, fever, or bout of diarrhea would hit.

I repeatedly sought my pediatrician’s advice, pleading, “Just tell me what I’m doing wrong!” His response? I should avoid taking Max to gatherings with other kids. Really? I was convinced there had to be something deeper behind his constant illnesses, not just the usual toddler germs! Yet, my doctor reassured me there was nothing fundamentally wrong with him; getting sick was simply part of childhood.

Eventually, I had to confront the painful notion that I was a bad mom for not being able to shield my son from these relentless germs. This guilt gnawed at me day after day. I would watch other mothers and wonder how often their children fell ill and how meticulously they cleaned their surroundings. I questioned my parenting abilities until I recognized the core truth: I loved my son, provided him with nutritious meals, and encouraged outdoor play and social interaction. Sure, I could cut back on screen time and limit sugar a bit, but the reality was that I wasn’t the cause of his frequent sickness. My doctor was right—unless I wanted to live in a bubble, we were going to encounter germs, period.

I didn’t need to carry the weight of guilt anymore, and if your little ones are also germ factories, you don’t either. So take heart, fellow moms of the sickly; unless you’re feeding them something truly bizarre, you’re not the reason they’re unwell. Kids just get sick.

Could some of our little ones benefit from more sleep and less sugar? Definitely. Could we all be more diligent with cleaning? Perhaps. But most of us are doing our absolute best, and if there were a foolproof way to keep our children healthy 24/7, we’d be all over it.

So, the next time your kids catch a mild cold or battle something more intense, like the dreaded 72-hour stomach flu (ugh!), don’t place the blame on yourself. Administer some Tylenol or whatever works for you, crank up the humidifier, and cuddle them close. Remind yourself that being there for your little one and comforting them (even if it involves cleaning up vomit or wiping snot from your eyebrows) is what truly defines good motherhood—not whether they got sick in the first place.

Next time the germ invaders strike, I’ll be ready. Instead of stressing over whether I’ve used enough disinfectant or the right blend of probiotics, I’ll choose to be grateful for my little disease-spreaders and focus on helping them recover, guilt-free. And let’s not forget the wonderful moments we’ve shared—the stories we’ve read, the spontaneous dance parties, the encouraging words, and the bedtime snuggles. These are the memories that remind me that just because my kids are sick doesn’t mean I’m a bad mom, and neither does it mean you are.

For more insights on parenting and health, check out this helpful blog post or this resource on pregnancy. And if you’re looking for a comprehensive home insemination kit, Make a Mom has got you covered.

Summary

It’s natural to feel guilty when your children frequently fall ill, but remember that you are not a bad mom for this. Kids get sick, and it’s often a normal part of childhood. Focus on caring for them and cherishing your time together rather than stressing over germs and health.