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The Joy of Finding Your Life Partner in Your 20s
My partner and I recently marked our 12th wedding anniversary, and let me tell you, our love story is as captivating as it is ordinary—remarkable only to us. The brief version? We crossed paths over 16 years ago on a sweltering August day during law school orientation. The longer version includes plenty of awkward phone calls, burritos, an abundance of cosmos, a late-night hatchback adventure, and a lot of debate over what truly counts as our first date.
I could paint a picture of love at first sight, gush about life-changing moments, and label him my “soul mate” while posting photos with #soblessed. But let’s be real—that’s not what love at first sight is, at least not in the clichéd sense. Every time I see #soblessed used to describe relationships, I can’t help but cringe a little. So, no, I won’t go there.
Our relationship is, in many ways, just like any other couple’s. We met, we dated, we fell in love, and eventually, we decided—yes!—this is the one. This is the person I want to bicker with over the remote control, debate 529 Plans and credit card bills, and whether or not we should buy a new couch. This is the person whose snoring I can tolerate. This is the person I want to share my life with.
Like many couples, we met in our early 20s. We thought we were so mature and worldly, yet looking back, I can’t help but feel a bit embarrassed by our youthful naivety and simplistic optimism. We were impulsive and fun-loving. As Paul Valery aptly said, “Love is being stupid together.” And boy, were we ever! But as the years passed, we evolved. We’re still crazy about each other, but it’s a calmer, more mature crazy now—mostly because we’re too worn out to be impulsive.
In long-term relationships, there comes a point when you’ve spent more years together than apart. We’re getting closer to that milestone. There’s so much to cherish about marriage or any enduring partnership: friendship, companionship, and the deep connection that develops as you navigate life’s many challenges together. It’s a partnership built on love, passion, teamwork, respect, and mutual appreciation. It’s knowing you’ve always got each other’s backs, even when you’re playfully flipping each other off behind closed doors.
One of the truly beautiful aspects of meeting young is that you not only grow old together, but you also grow up together. My partner and I navigated our wild and reckless 20s—the decade of indulgence, passion, and questionable decisions. Then we transitioned into our building and settling-down 30s—the era of exhaustion, gratitude, and far fewer bad choices.
As I stand on the brink of a new decade, I can’t predict what life will throw our way. I don’t know how we will change and grow, both as individuals and as a couple. But I do know, and have always known, that there’s no one else I’d rather face this uncertain future with than him. Isn’t that the essence of marriage? Growing up, growing old, and sometimes being foolish together.
Marriage is about finding that one person you’d rather be silly with than anyone else. There’s no one I’d prefer to experience life’s ups and downs with, and no one I’d rather grow old alongside—even if that’s still a ways off.
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Summary:
Finding your partner in your 20s can lead to a unique journey of growing together through life’s ups and downs. While it may not be a fairy tale, the shared experiences, friendships, and mutual growth create a bond that lasts. Embracing the unpredictability of life with your partner is what makes marriage truly beautiful.