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My Top Parenting Regrets
Lying on the bed, my 2.5-year-old is whining again, and the only remedy seems to be nursing. If I don’t, he’ll escalate to a full-blown scream, which will undoubtedly wake his brothers, ages 4 and 6, who are squished together on the single bed beside me. They’re snuggled up against their dad like little barnacles. Sometimes one demands an arm to sleep on, leaving him in a contorted position all night. Other times, the baby won’t stop nursing, and I’m caught in a tug-of-war, trying to decide if I want to endure this half-sleep or just wake him up already.
Looking back, I can’t help but think that if we had put them in cribs as infants, we might have avoided this chaos. We could have tucked them in by 8 p.m. and enjoyed a peaceful night’s sleep in our own bed. Ah, that sounds heavenly! While I stand by our choices, I occasionally find myself wishing for a different path.
There are other decisions I second-guess, too. For instance, extended breastfeeding. My 4-year-old insists he’s not weaned, and when he gets upset, he flings himself at me, wailing “Mama milk!” I try to refuse, but the volume just rises. My 2.5-year-old joins in, asking for milk, and if I deny him, it’s tantrum city. Just this morning, I held a sobbing toddler while my oldest tried to read. Maybe I should have weaned them by 18 months; then they wouldn’t be asking. Sure, breastfeeding offers comfort and health benefits, but sometimes it feels like a major hassle, especially when I’m not even wearing nursing-friendly clothes.
Then there’s my firm stance against strollers. My babies were always wrapped in cloth, either on my back or cuddled against my front. I loved every moment of babywearing—until they grew too big to enjoy it. Suddenly, they refused to ride in carts at the store. If I had introduced strollers earlier, shopping trips would have been a lot less stressful. I still enjoy wrapping the youngest when they allow it, but it would be nice if they would just sit in the cart.
And let’s talk about homeschooling. Some mornings, we breeze through reading, math, and science. Other days? A total disaster. My oldest struggles with certain words, leading to frustration, while his younger siblings wreak havoc in the background. I adore homeschooling, but on tough days, I find myself dreaming of enrolling them all in school. Sure, the car lines would be a nightmare, but I’d have a few hours of freedom to clean, write, or even treat myself to a haircut at Ulta.
Another thought I sometimes entertain is the idea of spanking. There, I said it! We decided early on not to spank, believing it teaches nothing and can cause harm. We strive for patience, understanding that tantrums are part of childhood. But when one of them leaps off the kitchen table, I can’t help but wish I could just give a quick smack for sheer stupidity. I know it wouldn’t help in that moment, but man, it would feel satisfying.
We all have our parenting regrets—more like dreams, really. The grass often appears greener on the other side. We all make choices that we believe are best for our children, knowing what comforts and teaches them. But every now and then, we find ourselves wishing for something different, and that’s perfectly okay.
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Summary:
In this candid exploration of parenting choices, Claire Thompson reflects on her biggest regrets, including extended breastfeeding, the refusal of strollers, the challenges of homeschooling, and the fleeting thought of spanking. While she cherishes the choices made for her children, there are moments of longing for the easier paths not taken. Ultimately, every parent grapples with similar feelings, recognizing that it’s all part of the journey.