Raising an Average Student: A Parent’s Perspective

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One of the toughest challenges I faced as a parent was coming to terms with the fact that my son was just an average student. My husband and I made every effort not to let his grades define our perception of him, especially throughout high school, but it was hard not to let them affect how we viewed ourselves as parents. We experienced moments of doubt and sometimes questioned our parenting choices. What did we do wrong? What could we have done differently to spark his motivation? As it turns out, not much.

Ultimately, the drive to succeed had to come from him.

In today’s cutthroat academic environment, where AP classes, honor rolls, and perfect GPAs reign supreme, having an average student can feel like a major setback for many parents. For some, a “C” student might be considered almost as bad as a dropout when it comes to the eyes of elite colleges. Advisers who juggle hundreds of students often overlook those with average grades, steering them towards junior colleges instead.

However, a high school GPA hovering around 3.0 doesn’t seal a student’s fate. My son graduated with just below that mark. His lackluster performance was due to a mix of factors, including mild ADHD and a significant disinterest in academics. Despite our best efforts—like hiring a tutor who had previously inspired our daughter—he remained dispassionate about schoolwork. As someone who loves literature and has an English degree, it was disheartening to see him so uninterested in the subject.

On the flip side, my son thrived in sports. His knowledge of baseball and football stats was nothing short of impressive. He could analyze football plays with the same precision as a mathematician solving complex equations. We believed the lessons of discipline and teamwork he learned on the field were invaluable, so we cheered him on as an offensive lineman, hoping that his passion for sports would eventually spill over into his academics.

The notion that only a degree from a top university leads to success is not just false; it’s unrealistic for most students. A staggering 95% of high schoolers won’t meet the criteria to attend such elite institutions. Fortunately, many excellent colleges welcome average students, providing them with the experiences and education that truly matter. My son was fortunate to gain admission to one of those schools.

Parents of average students might want to rethink their approach and resist the urge to constantly push their children for better performance. Many teens don’t mature enough to find their motivation until after high school. Our struggles to compel our son to work harder led to frustration and unnecessary stress for all of us.

Ironically, it wasn’t until he entered college and discovered a genuine interest in American History that he began to excel academically. He graduated in four years, turning in a senior thesis on the history of the Mexican baseball league and its influence on the sport in the U.S., earning a solid B+. Today, he juggles two jobs—one managing a college football team and the other in public affairs for a major energy company. His success came without our constant pressure, which is the most rewarding aspect for me.

In the long run, it’s unlikely that a potential employer will ever inquire about his high school GPA. There’s so much more to him than that.

(Note: This post was written with my son’s support and encouragement.)

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In summary, raising an average student can be a journey filled with doubt and frustration, but it can also lead to unexpected successes. Finding motivation within themselves is crucial for teens, and sometimes, stepping back as parents allows them to grow and flourish.