In the past, I believed that parents who resorted to spanking their children could be divided into two groups: those who were neglectful and those who leaned heavily on religion. The first group claimed that a swift smack was an effective disciplinary tactic because it had worked on them. “Look at how fine I turned out,” they’d boast. “My kids will be just fine too.” I often thought, “Really? You turned out to be quite the jerk, didn’t you?” Yet I kept my thoughts to myself, opting instead to feel superior, convinced that I would be the more enlightened parent. My approach would rely on reason and time-outs, ensuring that my children understood that love shouldn’t hurt.
Equally disheartening were the overly pious individuals who manipulated scripture to validate their spanking stance. They didn’t just justify it—they proclaimed it as a divine order. According to them, God mandates the use of the rod. Without it, they warned, children would succumb to their naturally sinful tendencies. I was too reserved to voice my disbelief, but internally I was shouting, “Are you serious? How can a loving God endorse hitting children?”
Then came my pregnancy. Hormonal changes unleashed a torrent of my unfiltered thoughts. Suddenly, everything was up for discussion. I believed that even a sip of wine could harm a fetus, along with nitrates, raw fish, and unpasteurized cheese. I was vocal about my views on parenting, especially with my brother’s wife, whom I dubbed “Miss Disciplined.” I often engaged her in heated debates about the harms of spanking, bombarding her with articles and texts on the subject. Admittedly, I was quite the know-it-all.
Fast forward to my son’s arrival. He was colicky from day one, evolving from a non-stop crier to a relentless whiner. Nothing satisfied him—his peas were too green, the cereal too cold, and even his yogurt was unacceptable. After enduring this phase, he transitioned into what many politely call a “strong-willed” child. In reality, it was just a nicer term for being a difficult little one.
We tried everything to manage his behavior: stern talks when he pulled the cat’s tail and time-outs when he flat-out refused to cooperate. He laughed at our attempts. We tried to praise him for good decisions, like when he chose to drink his milk instead of spilling it everywhere. He would maintain eye contact while pouring milk into my shoe, grinning all the while. Natural consequences? Not a chance. He remained unfazed.
Then came the day he slapped me in the face. That’s when I realized there was a third category of parents—those who feel compelled to resort to the age-old discipline methods that generations have employed to handle unruly kids. All my carefully constructed beliefs about parenting with love and logic crumbled in an instant. Without overthinking it, I calmly turned him over, pulled down his pants, and gave him a firm swat on his little behind. I didn’t plead or negotiate; I simply stated, “You will not hit Mommy. That’s disrespectful. I’m in charge, and you’re not. This isn’t a choice.”
His reaction was immediate—he burst into tears, shocked and scared. I was taken aback myself. After a minute of snuggling and reassurance, he bounced back in no time. I hadn’t crushed his spirit; he was still the same strong-willed boy, but now he showed respect and thought more carefully before acting.
My perspective has shifted. I no longer view parents who spank as abusers. Instead, I see them as individuals trying to navigate the challenges of raising strong-willed children—perhaps a bit desperate, too. For more insights on parenting and home insemination, check out this helpful resource. And for those interested in the technicalities of insemination, Cryobaby offers great products. If you want to learn more about intrauterine insemination, Healthline provides excellent information.
Summary:
This article chronicles a mother’s transformation in her views on spanking, moving from strong opposition to understanding its place in parenting strong-willed children. Through personal experiences with her son, she recognizes the struggles other parents face and shifts her perspective on discipline.