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The ‘Solution’ to Stopping Online Harassment That I Can’t Get Behind
The online world was set ablaze recently by a viral video showing men reciting some of the harsh tweets directed at two female journalists. These tweets are just a smidge of the ongoing, relentless, and truly agonizing harassment that happens online. Watching that video multiple times left me frustrated—not just by the vile comments, but by the casual way our society has normalized such verbal abuse.
I’ve been in the trenches of social media, experiencing my fair share of disdain simply for sharing opinions. So, the video’s contents were neither shocking nor surprising to me. What really got under my skin was the realization that this culture has allowed such cruelty to become a part of our everyday existence.
I received messages from friends—mostly men, with a few women in the mix—linking me to the video and offering heartfelt apologies: “I can’t believe you deal with this,” or “I can’t fathom what you go through when you post something online.” While their intentions were good, I was left feeling unaffected. If you’re a woman—trans or cis—and you’ve spent any time on social media, especially as a voice in sports or just as someone with thoughts and feelings, you know that comments promoting violence and hatred are all too common.
I’ve been insulted in every conceivable way. I’ve been told I’m hideous and destined to die alone, and even criticized as a mother, with someone actually suggesting my child would be better off if I’d never had him. Oddly enough, these comments don’t sting much anymore. Perhaps it’s the result of growing up with an abusive father; the words of a stranger hold less power over me than I might prefer to admit.
What shocked me was when a close friend shared the video and urged people to think of women as their mothers or wives before making similar comments. Really? You need to envision me as someone you care about before you can treat me like a human being? That’s a troubling thought. A woman shouldn’t have to fulfill a familial role to receive basic respect and decency. Men should not be cruel to women they don’t know any more than they would be to their loved ones.
Every woman is a human being deserving of respect, no strings attached. You shouldn’t have to imagine her as your sister or daughter to refrain from calling her derogatory names. You shouldn’t need a mental picture of her as an innocent child to stop yourself from hurling insults.
While I understand the intention behind asking men to think of women as mothers or sisters, I find it fundamentally flawed. This mindset implies that unless a woman offers some form of benefit to you, she is open to your disdain and hostility. That’s a line of reasoning I simply cannot endorse. And trust me, I’ve tried to see it that way, but it doesn’t sit right with me.
The fact is, I am not anyone’s wife or daughter or sister to every man online who disagrees with me or is angered by my writing. My existence as an individual does not warrant harassment, regardless of my lack of connection to you. Just because I’m not your loved one doesn’t give you permission to be my tormentor.
For those interested in more information on related topics, check out this blog post on home insemination. And for a comprehensive resource on pregnancy and home insemination, visit the CDC.
Summary
This article discusses the normalization of online harassment against women, emphasizing that respect should not depend on familial relations. The writer expresses frustration with the notion that men should only empathize with women they know, advocating for universal respect for all women, regardless of personal connections.