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Can’t a Stay-at-Home Parent Get a Little Appreciation?
Updated: June 11, 2016
Originally Published: June 2, 2016
I once spent nearly two years as a stay-at-home dad, and let me tell you, it was not my cup of tea. But hey, that’s not on my partner. It was monotonous, lonely, and downright draining. Sure, I bonded with my little one and we had some great times, but let’s be honest—I’d take a day at the office over a full day at home any time. It’s partly those memories that fuel my determination to support my partner now that she’s juggling a newborn.
Whether you’re a mom or dad, staying home with the kids is no walk in the park and deserves recognition, respect, and the occasional helping hand. No matter how much you love your time with the little ones, when your partner walks through the door at the end of the day, it’s their turn to step up. Honestly, no one is less sympathetic than a parent whose shift has ended. My child could be covered in peanut butter and glitter, and the moment I arrive home, my partner will hand him to me and head straight for the wine.
And that’s perfectly fine. When I walk in, it’s my time to take over. As the working partner, one of the best ways I can lighten my partner’s load is to step in for a few hours.
Making Time for Each Other
First things first, when she gets a chance for a girls’ night out? I tell her to go have fun while I manage the kids—both that evening and the next morning. It gives her the chance to socialize and unwind, which is a rare treat for a stay-at-home parent stuck indoors all day. But let’s be real; I’m not a saint. Once the kids are in bed, I get to enjoy some peace and quiet—perfect for catching up on that Netflix series she couldn’t care less about or watching the playoffs without interruption. Plus, every “night off” she gets is a win for me!
A Little Thoughtfulness Goes a Long Way
Here’s a little tip: when you get home, don’t contribute to the chaos (and trust me, there will be chaos). And for the love of all things holy, don’t mention the mess! Try wrangling a toddler and a baby without a trail of toys, laundry, and leftover snacks scattered about. If you must drop something when you walk in, make it dinner from your favorite takeout place, or perhaps a bottle of wine to ease the cooking burden. A little thoughtfulness goes a long way in showing your appreciation for what they do every day.
Let your partner know you understand how challenging it can be to stay at home with the kids. In its own right, it’s just as stressful and exhausting as hitting deadlines at work or dealing with a micromanaging boss. Don’t downplay their efforts. Sure, they might not have a commute or clock in and out, but that doesn’t lessen the value of their work. If you mess up at the office, you might lose your job; if they mess up, it’s a whole different level of stress! Talk about pressure!
Be Present on Weekends
On weekends, when you’re both at home, get up first and brew the coffee. Take the kids to the park so your partner can enjoy a bit of extra sleep. For someone working in an office five days a week, weekends offer a break. But for a stay-at-home parent, weekends can feel like just another day in the grind. When you’re home, be fully present. Parenting is a full-time gig for both of you, even if the roles look different.
And remember, you don’t have to be a mom to stay home with the kids, so this advice applies to working wives too—except maybe the flowers part; guys aren’t usually into that.
Additional Resources
For more insights on the topic, check out our other blog post about home insemination. If you’re looking for advice on fertility, visit Make a Mom, a go-to source. For pregnancy FAQs, the CDC offers an excellent resource here.
Conclusion
In summary, staying home with the kids is tough work. A little appreciation and support can make a big difference for both partners.