Yesterday, something rather unsettling occurred. Allow me to start by saying that I’m having a tough time adjusting to summer break. It’s a bit of a mixed bag—good yet chaotic. Can something be both delightful and maddening at the same time? Because that seems to be the essence of parenthood.
Transitioning from a blissful six-plus hours of my three kids being at school (while I sneak in some work) to having them home all the time is, well, not going as smoothly as I’d hoped. Summer can feel unrelenting—trust me, I’ve ranted about it enough in past posts.
My little one, Bella, is currently obsessed with two things: power outlets and her baby doll. Here she is, proudly showcasing her doll to the outlet in her room. #multitasking
This summer is a bit easier compared to previous ones, primarily because my kids are getting older and more self-sufficient. Bella turns 3 next week, and it feels like we’re finally emerging from the dark days of the Valley of Motherhood.
Yesterday afternoon, we returned home after a fun day at the park. My boys hopped out of the van, heard some kids next door, and eagerly asked if they could join in. I gave them the green light and took Bella inside. She was a mess—sticky from peanut butter and smeared with dirt—so I stripped her down to her diaper.
As I hurried to the bathroom, Bella trailed closely behind me, my ever-present shadow. Then, my phone rang. It was my sister, sounding unwell, and I could barely catch what she was saying. Just as I began to grasp the gravity of her situation—was she saying she needed to see a doctor?!—Bella decided that was the perfect moment to crank up her volume. My stress levels soared.
I ducked into my bedroom and shut the door. Bella wailed from the hallway, and when it fell silent, I felt relief wash over me. But when I stepped out just minutes later, the house was eerily quiet. A wave of panic washed over me; it felt like my heart stopped.
Our back door was wide open.
“Bella!” I shouted, racing outside. She was nowhere to be seen. I heard a neighbor across the street call out, “I just saw a little girl go through the fences in the backyard!”
I sprinted barefoot in the direction she indicated, my heart pounding in my ears, my body in a blur of blind panic. I found Bella wandering down the street, clad only in her diaper, clutching a toy pet carrier with a stuffed dog inside. The look of fear on her face when she saw mine is something I’ll never forget.
“Never again,” I told her firmly.
“Not with my puppy?” she replied.
“Never, ever. You must always stay with a grown-up,” I said, wiping away my tears.
I’m sharing this experience to illustrate how quickly children can vanish. I’ve often wondered where the mother was in similar stories I’ve heard. That mother was me. I was right there, yet it still happened.
I am a good mom—capable and attentive. I’m not negligent; kids are just quick and often quiet, and sometimes, things go awry. So today, I’m holding my kids close, grateful for their safety, knowing that some mothers aren’t as fortunate.
For more on navigating parenthood and all it entails, check out this insightful post on home insemination. Also, if you’re looking for more information about the process, CryoBaby’s at-home insemination kit is a great resource. And for expectant parents, the March of Dimes offers excellent information and support.
In the end, we’re all just doing our best to navigate the wild ride that is parenthood.