With schools closing across the nation, summer is finally here, and for many families, that signals the start of vacation season. Traveling with kids can feel less like a getaway and more like a test of endurance. Kids have an incredible knack for whining and complaining, even when fun is the goal. Sure, you booked a trip to a lively tourist hotspot, but your little ones might just want to spend the entire time splashing in the hotel pool. Booked a hotel without a pool? Good luck; you might need divine intervention to survive that trip. Yes, there will be some laughter, but let’s face it — you’ll likely need a few cocktails to cope!
Yet, in true Griswold fashion, parents keep at it, determined to make the best of every family outing. Our unwavering commitment to have fun — even if it means enduring a 15-hour car ride with kids — is something to admire. We’re going to enjoy it, come hell or high water. Fortunately, the comedic parents on Twitter are right there with us, contemplating the fate of their sanity while considering bribes, snacks, and occasionally daydreaming about rolling out of a moving vehicle.
1. No Judgments Here.
Bribing with candy, changing diapers in strange places, or handing over tablets for hours — do what you have to do. Anyone who dares to judge can feel free to babysit while you enjoy a drink (or several).
2. Who Needs Theme Parks?
We booked a stunning oceanfront resort for our summer getaway, complete with all kinds of attractions nearby. But what was the first thing out of our kids’ mouths? You guessed it — “Does it have a pool?” They’re savvy little negotiators; after all, it has a swim-up bar for me, so that’s a win.
3. Home Sweet Home?
Oh, your toddler just had a diaper disaster that ruined a brand-new outfit? Enjoy scrubbing it in the sink like a commoner because hotels don’t come equipped with laundry facilities. Ah, yes, can you feel the relaxation setting in?
4. They’re Still Awesome.
They embarrass you at home, so you can bet they’ll stick to their routine while you’re away.
5. Nature’s Collectibles.
Don’t forget about the wet grass clippings, mud, and the surprise dog poop your spouse “forgot” to pick up in the backyard.
6. Reality Check on Resorts.
Did you really think your little gremlins would behave at your all-inclusive resort? Bless your heart. You’re just paying a premium to yell at your son to stop using his sister’s arm as a tissue, all while surrounded by beautiful scenery.
7. Potentially Illegal.
Think texting and driving is dangerous? Try mediating a food fight in the backseat while dodging flying sunglasses and passing out water bottles. Safe travels!
8. Every. Single. Time.
Just reading that brought on a twitch.
9. Budgeting Wisely.
Sure, your teenager rolls their eyes at every suggestion for summer fun, but thanks to skipping camps, you can stock up on wine to drown out their complaints!
10. The Office Beckons.
You can’t wait to leave work for vacation, and then you find yourself missing the peace of your office and that endless supply of coffee. Thanks, kids, for making work seem like a paradise.
11. Taking Notes.
You’ve got to use whatever tools are available, but we can’t help but wonder — who measures alcohol consumption on vacation?
12. Case Closed.
Safe travels, fellow parents!
For more on navigating the world of parenting, check out our post on home insemination. And if you’re curious about the science behind it all, this Wikipedia page is a fantastic resource. Also, for some invaluable insights on artificial insemination, visit BabyMaker.
In summary, while traveling with kids can be a hectic experience filled with challenges and chaos, it’s also a time for unforgettable moments and laughter. The funny parents of Twitter remind us that no matter the obstacles, we’ll take the plunge (or the road trip) while holding onto our sense of humor.