As you step into the adventure of motherhood, you’ll find that everyone has a piece of advice to share. You’ll hear things like, “Travel while you still can!” or “Catch those Zs while you can!” If you’re fortunate, they’ll even give you a heads-up about the unexpected bathroom company and the drastic reduction in shower time. You’ll quickly learn that yoga pants and a messy bun are your new best friends, and let’s be honest—who hasn’t dealt with a little spit-up on their favorite top?
But amidst all this well-meaning chatter, there’s one crucial truth that often gets overlooked: you might lose a part of yourself in the process.
In the whirlwind of onesies and stockpiling diapers, you might not pause to consider how you’ll feel on the other side of this journey. No amount of foresight can prepare you for the transformation that motherhood brings. It’s empowering, yes, but it can also quietly strip away some of the very traits that once defined you.
You might forget who you used to be. Your place on your own priority list will shift, and instead of being at the top, you’ll find yourself at the bottom—right after the kids. If you plan to have three kids, guess what? You’ll be in the fifth position from now on.
At first, this change might not be obvious. You’ll be too wrapped up in the daily routine of feeding, burping, and entertaining. On the toughest days, simply making it through will feel like a victory. You might post on social media about indulging in a glass (or three) of wine after a long day, only to find yourself drifting off on the couch, drooling over reruns of a reality show. Your aspirations of pampering yourself or diving into that book? They’ll have to wait.
You will love your children fiercely, investing endless energy into games of peek-a-boo and later, “Choo-choo.” And when you do manage to dress up for an outing, you may end up wishing you hadn’t. If you survive that day without a meltdown, don’t expect a repeat anytime soon. It’s like winning the lottery—rare and unexpected. You’ll feel joy and pride as your kids achieve new milestones, but…
There will come a moment when you find yourself pacing with a colicky baby, humming and swaying, only to catch a glimpse of your reflection. It’ll hit you that you’re seeing yourself for the first time in ages—not just a quick glance while applying makeup. The woman staring back at you might be unrecognizable: a shirt stained with spit-up, hair a chaotic mess, and a body that feels foreign. Her eyes will hold stories of exhaustion and emotional turmoil, reflecting everything you’ve experienced on this journey.
Yet, in your arms, you’ll cradle that beautiful child who makes it all worthwhile.
But here’s where hope comes in. As time passes, you’ll start to reclaim fragments of your former self. Your little ones will grow more independent, and the days of nursing will come to a close, giving you a taste of freedom. You’ll be able to enjoy a night out or a relaxing evening with friends without the constant worry of a ticking clock. The spit-up phase will eventually fade, allowing you to dress with a bit more flair. With some effort and patience, you’ll reshape your body and find pride in it again—because it was the vessel that brought your children into the world, and that’s definitely worth celebrating.
Through it all, your kids will remain your motivation. They’ll be the reason you rise each day and the light that guides you. Even during the toughest moments, they’ll be the few individuals you simply cannot envision living without.
Take heart, dear mama. You will rediscover yourself, and this new version will be the best yet. If you’re curious about navigating the world of home insemination and fertility, check out this excellent resource for guidance. For those interested in diving deeper into this journey, this article and Make a Mom’s insights can provide valuable information.