When you become a parent, you quickly start to appreciate the wisdom of ancient practices. It might sound bonkers to anyone without kids, but once you’re in the parenting game, routine morphs into ritual and eventually feels like a sacred doctrine. Non-parents might raise an eyebrow when they see my spouse and me at a gathering, suddenly exchanging panicked glances at the sight of our phones flashing reminders that bedtime is looming. It’s as if the proverbial clock struck midnight, and we need to evacuate the scene faster than a superhero saving the day. We hastily scoop up our little ones and dash home to their fortress—their bedroom—before the storm of tantrums hits.
If you discover a routine that brings some semblance of order to your daily parenting struggles—like getting kids dressed, teaching manners, or making sure they eat—it’s not hard to picture yourself in a druidic robe, chanting to the guardian of sleepy kids. Nowhere is this more evident than during bedtime. My partner and I take turns with our toddler’s nightly tuck-in, and on my nights, it’s often the most dreaded segment of my parenting shift. It should be the conclusion of a long day, but instead, it frequently ushers in a new wave of chaos.
It usually unfolds like this: your child, who should be practically snoozing after a napless day filled with energy, is somehow still bouncing off the walls. You might indulge them with an extra story or a funny video clip, maybe even share a heartwarming chat that ends with a sweet “I love you.” In response, they might drop a random word like “pickles,” followed by a fit of giggles.
Then the tipping point arrives. You might accidentally forget to position their stuffed animals just right or tell a bedtime story without their newly favored animal—a capybara, which, let’s be honest, they probably just learned about. Or perhaps the story does have that capybara, but he’s not in a rocket ship. Suddenly, you’re faced with a mini-meltdown over what seems like a minor misstep. Their toddler brain, drunk on sleep deprivation, has kicked into high gear.
At this juncture, you might as well get comfy (read: lose all feeling in your limbs) because you’re in for a long haul. It’s like being the subject of an interrogation, but in reverse. The increasingly loud and whiny requests to fix your faux pas feel never-ending, and you quickly realize that you have no clue what they want from you. You might find yourself saying, “I’m sorry! What do you want me to do?” But often, they don’t know either; they’re just unhappy. The good cop has left the building, and the bad cop is running the show.
Having a structured bedtime routine can keep the chaos at bay, no matter how quirky it may seem. In our household, bedtime is a non-negotiable event. The routine is set in stone—barring any cataclysmic events, we have dinner, playtime, pajamas, a show, a book, teeth brushing, and then off to bed. This is when the real fun begins.
My son insists on “talking a little bit” before sleep, and navigating these conversations feels like walking a tightrope. It’s both a minefield and a treasure trove of sweet moments. I cherish these times because you never know where a toddler’s imagination will lead. He often takes the reins of the discussion, jumping from playing tag at daycare to a whimsical scenario involving “Darth Bader” riding a donkey while devouring a pizza.
At times, certain topics stick around. For months, he was fixated on farm animals and the role of sheepdogs. Then, one night, he unexpectedly pivoted to a subject that has since become a recurring theme: the war in Syria. He picked this up from a radio report during a significant news moment. I explained that families had to leave their homes because it was unsafe, and since then, he frequently revisits it. He even offers to fix the homes in Syria with his plastic hammer and screwdriver.
So, while I dread the nightly ritual of tucking my son in, I also look forward to it. It encapsulates the parenting journey—a blend of hard work, worry, and the occasional chaos, yet peppered with delightful moments that remind you why you love these quirky little beings.
In essence, parenting is about navigating the trials while finding joy in the unexpected.
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Summary
Bedtime with a toddler can be both a challenge and a source of joy. While routines may feel like rituals, they are essential for navigating the evening chaos. Engaging in conversations with a toddler can lead to unexpected insights and laughter, making it a unique journey of parenting.