Ah, summer—the season when parents everywhere are thrust into the chaotic world of swimming with their kids. Whether it’s a pool, the ocean, a lake, or even a puddle, diving into the water with little ones is nothing short of a comedic disaster. Who’s asking to use the bathroom? Who’s proclaiming hunger? Who’s whining after just 10 minutes in the water, which took longer to prepare for than a trip to the moon? Who turned the pool into a biohazard? Who’s sipping wine at 11 AM? Just me? Alright then.
Let’s be real—taking kids swimming can be a total train wreck. Thankfully, the funny parents of Twitter have shared their relatable struggles, and it’s all laugh-out-loud material.
- Need a bucket, buddy?
Oh, so you’ve never opened your kid’s diaper to discover a collection of tiny seashells? Aren’t you just the fancy one? - It’s worse than pine needles.
You thought cleaning up after Christmas was bad? Nothing compares to the relentless grip of sand—stupid sand that ends up everywhere. Grab a Swiffer and prepare for battle. - At least there’s that.
Snap a few cute photos of that little head bobbing above water, then pour yourself a drink. You deserve it. - Literally no one.
Prepare to spend the entire summer forcing out fake enthusiasm, saying, “Wow, that’s so cool!” even when you’re internally screaming, “Who cares?” - Victory? Sort of?
Seriously, they should serve shots at the YMCA pool. Just… it’s a necessity. - Thanks, kid.
Oh, it’s totally fine. Moms have no dignity anyway. Just keep digging that emotional stake in deeper. - Yup.
If the water isn’t a biohazard, it totally counts as bath time. - Several hours of wincing, basically.
Do they have to jump that close to the edge? Are they trying to give us heart attacks? Yes. Yes, they are. - Sigh.
We may be so bored we could doze off standing up, but as long as they’re having fun, right? Right. - There’s no pleasing them.
If you spot a mom at the beach with her eyes shut, rubbing her temples, remember this tweet. We’re just trying to channel our inner zen amidst the chaos. - Vomit.
If you can convince yourself that warm spot isn’t toddler pee, congratulations—you’re officially a parent. - They never relax.
You’re splashing Mommy’s wine with that cannonball? This is not the time, kiddo.
This article was originally published on June 30, 2016.
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In summary, while swimming with kids is undoubtedly chaotic and sometimes horrifying, the humorous observations from parents remind us that we’re all in this together. So, grab your wine and brace yourself for a summer full of splashes and laughter.