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The Moment Your Kids Finally Show You Some Love
It was just my 18-year-old daughter Lily and me, lounging on the couch and mindlessly flicking through channels, when I suddenly threw out the big question. With her heading off to college soon, I felt an overwhelming urge for some kind of affirmation about my 18 years of parenting. Even though I knew this question was loaded, and that her response would likely be a mix of sarcasm and unintentional deception, I took the plunge anyway.
I clasped her hand, looked her in the eye, and blurted, “Did you have a happy childhood?”
“What? Mom, are you kidding? What kind of question is that?” A grin broke across her face.
“I just need to know,” I insisted.
“Um, don’t even think twice about it. Absolutely, I had a happy childhood! This is a dumb question. Why are you asking this now? And why do you doubt yourself so much?” she replied.
She had a point. Why now? Why the insecurities? Well, I felt she was finally old enough for a genuine answer. You can’t exactly ask your toddler, “How’s Mommy doing with the whole parenting thing?” Your pre-teen will roll their eyes and storm off, while a teenager might grunt something like “Whatever.” But a young adult on the brink of leaving home? They’re finally honest enough to give it to you straight.
For the first time, I believed her, yet I was taken aback that she thought I didn’t doubt myself. She had lived in our house for 18 years, witnessing more mom meltdowns than I care to admit. She had seen me cry and say things like, “I can’t do this anymore” and “I’m done.” Being the oldest, she was the guinea pig of our parenting experiments, and yet here she was, a smart, witty, and well-adjusted young woman about to embark on her college journey, telling me I did a good job as a mother, when all I ever felt was that I was failing.
“Mom?” she said, “Did you hear my answer? You did great.”
I didn’t dive into why I questioned myself or why I even asked the question in the first place. Instead, I leaned back, letting her words wash over me, erasing 18 years of self-doubt and replacing it with “You did great, Mom.”
That day? The one where you finally feel appreciated? It’s coming, I swear. But don’t wait 18 years for it. Even if your kids don’t voice it or show it, look at the amazing humans they’re becoming. Trust me, you’re doing a fantastic job, because truly, you really are.
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Summary
In a heartfelt moment shared between a mother and her soon-to-be college-bound daughter, the mother grapples with self-doubt about her parenting over the years. When she finally musters the courage to ask her daughter if she had a happy childhood, she receives a reassuring response that helps alleviate her long-standing insecurities. This experience serves as a reminder for parents everywhere that while appreciation may come later, the impact of their love and efforts is undeniable.