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Love Is a Choice: A Modern Take on Marriage
My grandparents were wed for over 65 years, despite being as different as night and day. Grandpa was the calm in the storm, while Grandma was the fiery force of nature. He was a dreamer with his head in the clouds, and she was the doer, grounding their wild ambitions. Their union flourished through career shifts, welcoming three children, the heartbreaking loss of two of them in just six months, and navigating the ups and downs of running a business, along with the countless little bumps that every couple faces.
These days, you hear people say that relationships don’t last like they used to, and that “divorce is just too easy.” Some claim that earlier generations stuck it out just because “that’s what people did.” But I think my grandparents’ lasting bond stemmed from one simple truth about marriage: “Some days,” Grandpa would say with calm wisdom, “Love is a choice.”
When we tie the knot, we never think, “Well, this might not stick.” No one puts “’til divorce do us part” in their vows. Sure, sometimes divorce is the healthiest path forward—everybody has their deal-breakers, and some situations are just untenable. But for those of us who choose to stay, we need to prepare for the inevitable bumps along the way. And by bumps, I mean everything from minor annoyances like your partner’s legendary snoring to major life-altering issues. In every marriage, both types will emerge.
Love, at first, feels like a breeze—like falling into a warm hug. But keeping that love alive through the years requires effort. Life has a funny way of getting in the way. The stress of marriage can dull that initial spark, making it feel like it’s vanished entirely.
However, it’s during those tough times—when you feel lightyears away from that early bliss—that we must actively choose to love. Those weeks or even months can feel overwhelming, and the temptation to throw in the towel is strong. But we need to remember that conflict is not just unavoidable; it’s a chance for growth, as long as we navigate it properly. Think of a wound: treat it right, no matter how serious, and it heals stronger than before. Ignore it, and it can fester. Sometimes, addressing a problem feels worse than the problem itself, but healing often requires that discomfort.
We chose our partners for specific reasons, and we choose to love them through the rough patches by remembering those reasons. It’s normal to question things when they get tough. We feel most at home when we share our deepest vulnerabilities with each other—our fears, insecurities, and shortcomings. It might not always be pretty, but that rawness is part of intimacy, and intimacy is what reinforces our bond.
Love is a choice, not just a circumstance. Marriage is a journey filled with reminders of this truth. It’s not a long, uninterrupted path of sunshine and roses; it’s more like a winding trail that can be rocky and steep, yet breathtaking in its beauty, testing our limits along the way. It’s precisely when we face adversity that we truly come to appreciate the easier times.
For more insights on navigating relationships, be sure to check out this post for further reading. If you’re on a journey toward parenthood, this resource can guide you through the intricacies of home insemination. Additionally, the NHS offers excellent information on pregnancy and home insemination options.
Summary
In conclusion, love is a conscious choice that requires effort and commitment, especially during challenging times. Navigating a marriage involves recognizing that conflict can lead to growth and intimacy. By keeping focused on the reasons we chose our partners, we can weather the storms together, appreciating the journey for all its ups and downs.