When my son recently celebrated his 5th birthday, my partner, Sara, once again went all out for an extravagant birthday bash, complete with a theme, of course. At age 1, we had a circus theme; at 2, it was Yo Gabba Gabba! Then came trains at 3, and last year, superhero capes for all the kids. This time, we embraced a pirate theme, featuring invitations that resembled aged treasure maps (even with singed edges!), a treasure hunt, and plastic swords and eye patches for the little rascals to take home and subsequently wield against their parents.
It was a blast! My son enjoyed himself, his friends were thrilled, and even the adults had a good time—thanks to the beer and mimosas we provided. But that doesn’t mean I’m eager to do it all over again. Here are the eight most challenging aspects of throwing a birthday party for your child:
1. The Planning
I swear Sara begins planning our son’s next birthday party during the current one. For the next 12 months, she’ll be browsing Pinterest, creating lists, ordering supplies, and seeking my opinion on matters I have no stake in. It’s a bit like our wedding planning, but with more glitter.
2. The Setup
After the planning phase, you’d think the hard part is over. However, the execution can be just as overwhelming. The amount of preparation required before the party is staggering! Setting up is akin to moving houses—it’s the worst! Next year, we might as well throw in a medical procedure and some air travel to make it the most stressful event ever.
3. The Cleanup
Once the cupcakes are devoured and the goody bags are gone, you might think the cleanup would be quick. Not so fast! You have to contend with an enormous pile of trash, the chaos left by a group of hyperactive children, and the mountain of gifts. Fortunately, we hosted ours in the park, so I got to throw out my back twice: once lugging everything in, and again hauling it all out.
4. The Cost
Holding the party at a rented venue can cost a small fortune. Hosting at home? That’ll cost you your sanity before factoring in food, drinks, favors, decorations, and the post-party cleanup. Not to mention, the potential legal fees after your child accidentally injures another with one of those “authentic” plastic swords from the dollar store that cost three bucks each.
5. They Won’t Remember Anything
Kids who are turning 5 are just as likely to remember their birthday parties as those turning 21—meaning, not at all! At least with a 21st birthday party, the aim is to celebrate in a way that’s memorable (just not for the parents!).
6. Themes
There’s always a theme, and I find myself roped into participating. Thankfully, I have a son, so I’ve dodged the princess bullet. But I’m preparing myself for next year when I’ll probably be dressing as Han Solo. Silver linings, right?
7. Competition
Social media platforms like Pinterest and Facebook are treasure troves of creative ideas for party favors and cakes. They also serve as an arena for comparing your party to others, as you silently vow to outshine those crafty parents who seem to have it all together.
8. Too Many Kids
Let’s be real: I’m not a huge fan of other people’s kids. So why did I invite so many? I can barely handle my own! Now I’m serving up sugar and chaos to a bunch of unfamiliar faces. Thanks a lot, social butterfly child!
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In summary, while throwing a birthday party for your child can be a joyous occasion filled with laughter and fun, it also comes with its fair share of stress and chaos. From the constant planning to the aftermath cleanup, the experience can feel overwhelming. However, the smiles on their faces often make it worthwhile—at least until next year rolls around!