18 Ways My Kids Have Turned Me Into the Ultimate Uncool Parent

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It’s a challenge to stay in tune with pop culture when you’re a parent. As your focus shifts, you find yourself less concerned about the newest tech or celebrity gossip and more preoccupied with keeping your family vehicle tidy or making sure little ones are clean. I work at a local university and often hear students suggest I “get with the times,” which, let’s be honest, is probably true. But my priorities have shifted, and I’ve embraced my nerdy parental role. Here’s how my kids have officially made me uncool:

1. While I can’t decipher Snapchat, I can expertly guide my daughter through Common Core math.
2. I’ve yet to binge-watch Orange Is the New Black, but I can rattle off every character from Curious George.
3. Forget the cool kids; my entourage consists of Minions.
4. I may not know the Kardashians by name, but I can tell you all about dinosaurs.
5. I don’t rock Beats headphones, but I do own a fabulous KitchenAid mixer.
6. My knowledge of My Little Pony: Equestria Girls far exceeds my understanding of the One Direction breakup.
7. I’ve caught wind of Johnny Depp and Amber Heard’s drama but could talk your ear off about Minecraft.
8. Ask me about the transition from Steve to Joe on Blue’s Clues, but don’t expect me to explain the latest political debates.
9. My diet consists of far more leftover bread crusts than trendy organic smoothies.
10. I might not sip iced coffee from a mason jar (my kids would smash it), but I can fill a sippy cup with milk using just one hand.
11. I haven’t listened to Kanye West’s latest track, but I know every lyric to “Let It Go.”
12. Sure, I can take a selfie, but I struggle to find an angle that hides my extra pounds and minimizes the kid boogers on my shirt.
13. I know Uber exists, but I’m fully aware they don’t provide car seats.
14. My iPhone 6 is practically a toddler plaything, so I’m clueless about the latest apps.
15. For me, Netflix and Chill means putting on Care Bears & Cousins so I can finally sit down without a toddler asking for snacks.
16. I don’t follow The Walking Dead, but I can use a potato mine like a pro in Plants vs. Zombies.
17. I may not grasp terms like low key, major key, or lit, but I can fluently speak in puppy, dolphin, and princess.
18. My connection to current music is through Yo Gabba Gabba! and Minecraft mixes.

I like to think I’m not entirely out of touch — more like I’ve experienced a significant shift in my priorities. But honestly, maybe that’s why parents are often seen as uncool. In the grand scheme of things, I don’t think it’s such a bad situation. Trends come and go, but the journey of parenthood remains constant. Sure, it may be a nerdy kind of constant, but I’m perfectly okay with that. If you’re interested in more about parenting and home insemination, check out this excellent resource.

In a world where pop culture is ever-evolving, embracing the beautiful chaos of parenthood is a badge of honor.