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My Tween Son Has a Girlfriend, and I’m All in for Him
During our spring break trip to Boston, I let my kids choose some souvenirs. Little did I know that this innocent shopping spree would end with me in tears inside a jewelry store. My son, on the brink of his teenage years, decided to spend his allowance on a gift for his girlfriend instead of himself. It was such a sweet gesture, and honestly, it reflects how I’ve raised him—to think of others and do kind things for those he cares about. Still, I couldn’t help but feel a wave of emotions wash over me.
Just when I thought I might lose it, a huge, flashy necklace caught my son’s eye. “Mom, is that a necklace or a weapon?” he quipped, and we both erupted into laughter. It was exactly what I needed to mask my misty eyes. I’ve laughed until I cried before, but this time, it was perfect—covering my emotional meltdown.
Truth be told, I never envisioned my son having a girlfriend at such a young age. I preferred that he concentrate on school, sports, and friends. But then I remembered my own experiences at his age—the drama, the notes passed in class, the innocent hand-holding, and those late-night phone calls to crushes while my favorite sitcom played in the background.
I could have put my foot down and told him no girlfriends allowed. I could have said no when he asked to go to the movies with his buddy and his girlfriend for their first chaperoned date. That might have spared me the emotional car ride after capturing pictures of them walking into the theater together. But honestly, it’s hard not to get emotional when your car smells like cologne and gum, knowing it’s for someone special in his life.
I could suggest he wait until he’s 16, but let’s be real—would he listen? I know I wouldn’t have.
So here we are. My son has a girlfriend—a charming girl who brings out the best in him. The fact that he willingly spends his money on her fills me with pride. Why would I want to discourage that?
I’ve also noticed some positive changes in him; he’s more polite, asks for advice on what to wear, and even remembers to shower without prompting. He holds doors open and is kinder overall. While some of this is simply him maturing, I can’t deny that his girlfriend plays a role in this transformation.
This is his first relationship, and I know it won’t be the last. There’s so much I won’t know about his life, so I aim to establish a solid foundation of trust and understanding between us. I welcome this relationship and, by extension, her.
Of course, being supportive doesn’t mean they can hang out alone together. We have ongoing conversations about respect and how to treat others’ feelings and boundaries. While he’s under my roof, I’ll be keeping a close eye on things.
Whether I’m ready for this new chapter or not, my son feels he is. I want him to know he can talk to me about anything, and that’s why I choose to be supportive.
In case you’re interested, this topic aligns with some helpful insights available at this link and you can check out this resource for more information on related themes. And if you want to dive deeper into our thoughts on relationships and parenting, have a look at our terms and conditions.
In summary, as my son navigates the waters of his first relationship, I’m here to support him while also ensuring he understands the importance of respect and communication. This is just the beginning of a long journey into adolescence, and I’m eager to walk alongside him.