By: Jamie Collins
The clumsy side of parenting is one of those amusing challenges that never seems to make it into the parenting guides. There’s no section on the phenomenon of kids being glued to your side, where a sudden stop can send them bouncing off you like a rubber ball. These accidental mishaps can lead to a hefty dose of mom guilt that lingers long after the event—especially when they’re funny in hindsight. Here’s a look at some of my most memorable blunders:
- Knocking my toddler over with my enormous belly while not realizing she was right behind me because, honestly, I hadn’t seen my toes since month eight!
- Misjudging the doorway and unintentionally bumping my infant’s head against the frame. I had to learn that the dimensions of doorways change dramatically once you have kids.
- Delivering an unintentional uppercut to my baby’s chin while struggling to unbutton her pajamas.
- Snipping my little one’s nails too short—more than once! Clipping tiny nails is like trying to catch a slippery fish; it turns into a full-body wrestling match.
- Successfully catching spit-up in the burp cloth—only to accidentally fling it right back into my newborn’s face, leaving him blinking in confusion.
- Dropping a bottle of lotion directly onto my son’s face. Pro tip: Keep lotion bottles out of reach during diaper changes!
- Forcing open the door to the laundry room only to find my 18-month-old sitting there, looking sad and confused.
- Squeezing baby food pouches a bit too hard, resulting in a surprise eye spray for my son.
- Chasing my kids around the house until they trip and faceplant into the carpet, resulting in rug burns that could rival any athlete’s battle wounds.
- Pinching my daughter’s chubby fingers in the high chair tray—ouch!
- Accidentally elbowing my daughter in the head while pulling laundry out of the dryer, completely unaware of her proximity.
- Forgetting to dry my daughter’s bottom after her bath, leading to a slippery mishap on the toilet—she went down like a seal!
- Using homemade mosquito spray with lemon oil on my daughter’s sunburned neck, only to have her scream, “It burns!”—panic mode activated!
- Neglecting to apply sunscreen on the back of my child’s neck, a classic rookie mistake.
- Bumping my child’s head against the side mirror of my car—always allow extra space when navigating mirrors!
- Zipping up strands of my daughter’s hair in her jacket. It always seems to be the sensitive spots that get caught.
- Accidentally startling my daughter by entering her room and speaking suddenly, resulting in a scream that could shatter glass.
- Hitting her in the face with my keys when she bumped into my arm while I was juggling groceries and her baby brother.
- Unintentionally striking all my kids in the head with the corner of a cabinet—sorry, kiddos!
- Buckling my daughter’s fingers into the car seat, a classic case of too many fingers and not enough attention.
These incidents happen. When they do, it’s easy to feel guilty and beat yourself up over it until something else distracts you—or until you make an even sillier mistake. But the kids don’t seem to remember, at least mine don’t. Although, I hope it’s not due to some hidden head injury I accidentally caused!
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Summary:
Parenting is full of accidental mishaps that often lead to guilt but also laughter. From bumping heads to unexpected spills, these moments are part of the wild journey of raising kids. Embrace the chaos, and remember that your little ones likely won’t hold it against you!