How an Accident Made Me Feel Like I’d Failed as a Mother

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Let me start by saying that this is one of the most candid (and terrifying) stories I’ve ever shared. My hope is that by opening up, I can support other parents grappling with anxiety, depression, and the overwhelming burden of guilt.

When accidents involving children occur, it’s all too common for people to rush to judgment about the parents. Hurtful comments pour in like, “These parents are unfit” or “They don’t deserve kids.” Such words are incredibly painful, compounding the distress of an already harrowing situation. Yet, they pale in comparison to the internal struggle a mother faces after an incident like this.

Even now, nearly a year and a half later, I still get choked up thinking about that day. The guilt can be suffocating, especially when I’m dealing with my daughter’s behavior. I can’t shake the thoughts of what might have happened if things had turned out differently.

Our youngest, Lily, managed to swallow a small button battery. My husband and I were tidying up when I absentmindedly left a bag holding three tiny batteries on a bench for just a moment. I don’t recall walking away or even turning my back. But when I glanced over at Lily, I found her on the floor with the bag in hand, about to swallow something. Rushing over, I immediately feared the worst. A quick check confirmed my nightmare—one battery was gone.

Panic ensued. Having read about the dangers of battery ingestion, I told my husband we had to get to the hospital immediately. It wasn’t until he searched online that he grasped the gravity of the situation. I’ll never forget the look on his face, trying to remain calm as fear crept in.

I repeatedly asked Lily, “Did you eat one of those? Did you swallow the battery?” But as any parent knows, getting a straight answer from a toddler is nearly impossible. She kept saying yes, then no, not wanting to get into trouble.

The car ride to the hospital felt endless. My heart raced as I watched Lily lick her lips and play with her tongue. Every time her saliva bubbled, my anxiety grew. I imagined the battery’s acid wreaking havoc on her insides.

Upon arrival, she was quickly admitted for x-rays. My husband held her while I waited anxiously, pregnant and paralyzed by fear. When the doctor finally called me in, I found our little girl sitting scared and confused on a hospital bed. The x-ray revealed she had swallowed the battery, but thankfully, it had moved past her esophagus and into her stomach.

We were fortunate—the doctor reassured us that she would pass it naturally within a few days. The next day, she did just that, and she was back to her happy self. But this incident sent me spiraling into severe depression and anxiety. Getting out of bed felt like a monumental task, and I cried every day. If I hadn’t been pregnant, I honestly don’t know how I would have coped. I felt like a terrible mother and wife, convinced I could have caused my child’s death.

Building the courage to seek help wasn’t easy. The first doctor dismissed me and referred me to someone else without any real support. Luckily, my midwife connected me with a counselor who visited my home at little to no cost. I had to return to the doctor for a new referral, but the second doctor was incredible—he spent over an hour discussing mental health and reassured me that asking for help didn’t mean I was a failure. His compassion gave me hope and validated the overwhelming feelings I was experiencing.

Over the following year, I had regular sessions with the counselor. Having a nonjudgmental person to talk to was crucial for my recovery. It pulled me from the depths of my darkest times and helped me understand that mom guilt is a very real struggle. No one should have to face these problems alone; parents deserve compassion, not shame.

Today, our vibrant and healthy three-and-a-half-year-old is a constant source of joy. I am eternally grateful for her, and for the support system that helped me recognize the light in my life again. It’s vital to remember that if you are feeling overwhelmed, there’s help out there.

For more information on mental health and support, check out this excellent resource on pregnancy and home insemination at Parents. If you’re looking for guidance on self-insemination, Make a Mom is a great authority on the topic. And for privacy concerns, you can read our detailed policy here at Home Insemination Kit.

In summary, the journey through guilt and anxiety is often isolating, but seeking help is essential. By sharing our stories, we can uplift each other and foster understanding in the parenting community.