When Parenting, Ditch the Naysayers

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Let me tell you, I’ve reached that point in my life where I can sit back and observe the chaotic world of parenting without being directly in the fray. cue my ancient wisdom voice When my kids were smaller, the internet was just taking off, and I was still trying to come up with a clever username. There were no blogs, no social media to showcase every little hiccup in parenting, and terms like “selfie,” “blog,” “text,” “viral,” and “followers” either didn’t exist or meant something entirely different.

I raised my kids in ways that suited both them and me. I found sleep strategies that worked for our family, and I disciplined—when needed—in the way that felt right at the moment. Sure, we had mom groups, playdates, and the inevitable park gatherings where judgment was dished out like candy. I can admit it: I gave and received my fair share of judgment.

However, back then, our parenting decisions weren’t scrutinized by a global audience. There were no online friends silently critiquing our parenting missteps as they scrolled through their feeds. We didn’t have Instagram to turn a simple baby picture into a full-on debate.

It may sound cliché, but it was a simpler time. With age comes wisdom, and I want to share some insights with the new generation of moms out there:

Embrace the Journey

Yes, it’s tough. There’s pressure coming at you from angles you didn’t even know existed. But let me share a little secret from this seasoned mom: In a few years, the spotlight will shift away from you to the next wave of parents. You’ll find yourself with older kids, and the prying eyes will vanish—unless, of course, you have a dog, which will always be nosy. You’ll relish the freedom, and trust me, that freedom is as satisfying as a warm meal you actually get to enjoy.

I spend a lot of time with young adults now—three of them live with me all year. They’re at the age where they can vote and even buy a drink legally (yes, it has its perks!). They can handle their own laundry and drive cars that don’t have “Little Tikes” stickers on them.

Unlike back in the day, when I was just starting out, my kids and I are now like seasoned artists showcasing unique sculptures. They’re not perfect, but they’ve learned and grown, and I’m proud of the individuals they’ve become.

What Really Matters

When I’m around large groups of kids, it’s no longer obvious what parenting choices were made. No more pacifiers, diapers, or formula bottles cluttering the scene. Instead, I see almost fully-formed individuals. I can’t tell who was breastfed or who had formula. You want to know who ate organic versus Kraft mac and cheese? I’ve got no clue.

What I do notice, however, is who was taught basic manners. I can point out the kids who know how to clean up after themselves and those who were instilled with the value of hard work. It’s clear which kids learned to treat others with respect and kindness. I’ve seen kids from difficult backgrounds rise to academic excellence and others from seemingly perfect homes grapple with serious issues.

And it’s not just my kids; when I’m out shopping, the polite, kind individuals stand out amid a crowd of impolite behavior. Some colleagues will clean the staff lounge while others leave a mess. If you’ve ever been at a school drop-off, you know how much parenting styles can reveal themselves in those brief moments.

Final Thoughts

So here’s the deal: Parenting is challenging. No one is perfect, and we all make mistakes, but what you do in those early years counts—and sometimes it doesn’t. Confusing, right? Welcome to the wild ride of parenthood. The best you can do is to give it your all. Ignore the critics, silence the self-doubt, and focus on what matters. Remember: In a few years, your kid will be navigating a world filled with online critics. Your goal is to ensure they don’t become one of them.

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Summary

Parenting comes with its challenges and judgments, but the key is to focus on your best efforts. With time, the scrutiny lessens, and what remains is the quality of the values instilled in your children. Embrace the journey and aim to raise kind, respectful individuals.