I adore my kids, but like many parents, I find myself venting about them more often than I’d like to admit. Honestly, I think it’s completely normal for parents to express their frustrations—it helps keep us sane. I often find myself sharing exasperated thoughts with friends and family, like, “Can I please just eat a meal without interruption?” or “I just want to use the bathroom in peace!” or “Why can’t I seem to accomplish anything around here?”
Typically, the response is something supportive like, “I totally understand. You’re not alone. This phase will pass.” But then there are those moments when someone suggests, “You should just let them play. Teach them to entertain themselves!” I know it’s not meant to be harsh, but my internal response is usually, “You clearly don’t understand!”
Maybe there’s something off with me or my kids—who knows? The truth is, my little ones don’t naturally entertain themselves unless you consider the hours they spend glued to their iPads as ‘playing.’ They do play a lot, but I can’t just leave them to their devices without risking a complete disaster or a trip to the emergency room.
I have two boys: a 3-year-old and a 9-year-old. My 3-year-old can sometimes entertain himself—if he’s in the right mood. If I’m lucky, he might spend 20 or 30 minutes lost in his superhero world. But crankiness or the presence of his older brother can quickly derail that. I might get a grand total of 60 minutes of solo playtime from him in a week, which is just enough for me to unload the dishwasher. But the moment I try to make a call or take a shower, it all falls apart, and he demands my attention immediately. However, if I stand nearby, elbow-deep in dishes, I can often get away with it.
My older son, on the other hand, has never been one for solitary play. He’s a bright kid with an active mind, constantly seeking stimulation. He’ll happily read or play video games, but if those aren’t options, there’s a lot of complaining. And if he’s not bemoaning his boredom, he’s chattering away at me.
It’s never quiet in our house. I’m so accustomed to my kids talking at me all day that I hardly know what silence feels like. When they’re both out of the house, the quiet is almost overwhelming. I close my eyes and soak it up.
As for them playing together, well, that’s a mixed bag! They love each other, but they need a lot of supervision. Their playtime usually consists of five minutes of fun followed by five minutes of fighting—on repeat. I try to step back and allow them to sort things out, but that doesn’t mean I can actually get anything done during those moments. It certainly doesn’t guarantee any peace or quiet.
Maybe my kids require more attention than others, or perhaps I’m just too anxious to let them work out their disputes on their own. Still, I believe they’re just typical kids, and most little ones need a ton of attention in their early years, which can be quite draining.
I have no doubt my boys are spirited, intelligent kids who will thrive in life. As maddening as they can be right now, I know that one day, silence will return—and I’ll likely miss it immensely. If I’m being honest, I do wish they’d let me be a little more often. I’d love to tackle chores without having a couple of little tornadoes shadowing me.
In the end, I remind myself that this phase will pass, and it will all be worth it. But living through it? That’s a different story. Seriously, can’t a girl just enjoy a moment of peace?
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